Parents' panic over the potential impact of the teachers' strike on Leaving Cert students can do harm - but there is nothing to fear from the strike itself. That's the consensus of the headmasters and principals I talked to about the situation.

And there's another issue that those parents who are whipping their children out of second-level schools into grind schools may be missing: being part of a sixth-year class in a regular school gives children a vital sense of security, success and closure. Missing out on graduating with your class may break bonds and traditions which could deprive students of a life-long sense of belonging. Those running grind schools - and even some students - disagree with this view, but more of that later.

First the strike issue. "We have to help them cope with their parents," says Arthur Godsil, headmaster of St Andrew's College, Booterstown, Dublin, where only two of 152 sixth-year students left for grind schools. "Parents must not panic, because panic is infectious. Every year there are tragedies of children doing silly things to themselves.

For children who are vulnerable already, the perceived stress of the exams could be a problem. It's up to us parents and teachers to reassure students that we adults know what we are doing and will get this right."

Patrick Potts, headmaster of Gonzaga College, Dublin, where no student has been lost to a grind school, agrees with this approach. Like Godsil, he says students need to hear that it is not their responsibility to worry about the teachers' strike. They need to be reassured that the State has a responsibility to ensure that exams are held and that responsible adults will sort the situation out.

Godsil says that most teachers finish the courses long before the exams, so there is no question of course work not being completed. Potts adds that he tells his students to see the strike days as "blessings from heaven", giving them an opportunity for structured, independent study (guided by the school).

Equally important is the continuity issue: "It's very important to finish out in the school you have been attending," says Godsil. "We have a valedictory night where students are told: `You are an Andrew's person and you will never leave that family. The connections that you make will stay with you for the rest of your life.' "

Potts adds that the extra independence of sixth year, when students "are on top of the pile", is one to be enjoyed and he encourages students to live in the moment. Potts says that grind schools can be useful for students who need to "buck up" on a subject over the Easter holiday, but that students should never leave secondary school before the Leaving Certificate. Students who leave secondary school for grind schools miss out on extra-curricular activities that can help build self-confidence, he says.

However, Anne-Marie Griffin, principal of the Institute of Education, totally disagrees. She says that the institute offers a sense of security that the secondary school may not be providing. The day is long gone when a traditional secondary school was viewed as a exclusive club where contacts made would stand students in good stead for the rest of their lives, she says.

Her philosophy: "Students today care about one thing - getting the points to get into their first-choice course. It's the quality of the university degree that is the stepping stone, and success has nothing to do with being well connected. "It's a meritocracy now and while this makes it harder in some cases it is more equal because career success is based on ability rather than connections.

Students come to the institute feeling very worried and stressed. We tell them that they have no reason to feel concerned because we have excellent teaching and the students are guaranteed to do well.

"I know one Leaving Cert student at the institute who feels far more secure and confident here than she did in her convent secondary school. She told me: `Teachers in secondary school said that they are available to give you advice and emotional support, but the reality was, they were not.

I'm getting far more support in the institute than I ever had before.' " Bruce College, another grind school, has stopped taking students, having brought in an additional 70 this year, based on interview.

Pat Phipps, principal of the college, says that his students are not missing out on anything. "All kids are interested in is doing the Leaving Cert. The kids want to work and are prepared to work. It's fashionable to study here," he says.

Ninety per cent of Bruce College students get offered their first-round choice, and that is partly because Bruce takes only committed students, he says. "They are told that if they don't study, they're out.

"At Bruce College, the students are not under stress because they are prepared. Myself and the parents are under stress - the kids aren't," says Phipps.

There are no rights and wrongs regarding decisions you make about your child's education. Parents must choose what is right for the individual child. A lot of that will depend on how supportive the secondary school is and that's holds true every year, not just in a strike year.

When a child feels secure, nine days of lost study - or even a few more - as a result of the strike are not going to make any difference. What will make a difference is parents blowing the strike out of proportion. So, if you're child is doing the Leaving, don't complain about the strike in front of your kids and do stay cool, calm and collected. Trust the schools to prepare their students as well as they always have.