Bullying can be a private thing, a secret thing, a hideous globe in which the victim is trapped. Where can a child or parent turn for help and understanding? There are many experts in the field, and now, surprisingly, a new source of help - the World Wide Web, and the Internet.

The International Counsellor Network has a mailing list at http://edge.edge.net / ruste/icn.html, where it's possible to get advice from the list members on all counselling-related subjects - though as with any Internet information, the advice should be checked through other sources too. "What's the big deal about bullying?" asks the NoBully webpage in New Zealand. "Some kids might think it's something you've just got to live with, but Bo and his friends don't think so.

"That's why Telecom and the police are having the Stop Bullying campaign. There are lots of things that you can do to help stop bullying." The NoBully page at http: //www.nobully.com has been put online by the New Zealand police force. It has a section for parents, with excellent resources: places to go to get advice and help if your child is being bullied. There are pages for children - including help for bullies - and pages of links.

A web search for resources on bullying brings up some surprising pages - one British page has testaments from celebrities who were bullied, including explorer Ranulph Fiennes, industrialist John Harvey Jones and Olympic gold medallist Duncan Goodhew.

The huge, and excellent, anti-bullying page from the Scottish Council for Research in Education http://www.scre.ac.uk/bully /index.html includes psychological papers, guides for parents and siblings, and for schools, political material and a send-away help-pack.

The British Columbia Bully B'Ware page http://www.bullybeware.com/ has a clarifying series of questions. "What Is Bullying?" it asks, and answers: "Bullying in its truest form is comprised of a series of repeated intentionally cruel incidents, involving the same children, in the same bully and victim roles.

"This, however, does not mean that in order for bullying to occur there must be repeat offences. Bullying can consist of a single interaction. Bullying behaviour may also be defined as a criminal act if the bully is 12 years of age or older."

This really excellent page clarifies the difference between larking around and true bullying: "The intention of bullying is to put the victim in distress in some way. Bullies seek power." It has chilling statistics - "by age 24, 60 per cent of identified bullies have a criminal conviction" - and advice for schools, parents and students. It offers a book, video and posters.

An educational software maker, Statistical Education through Problem Solving (STEPS), offers a program on bullying. It's quite old - the website where I found it said it was for a PC 486 and Windows 3.1 or later, or DOS. The PCversion is at http:// www.stats.gla.ac.uk /steps/abstracts/psychology.html#1 and the equally old Mac version (for a 6800) is at http://www.stats.gla.ac.uk/steps/mac.html This program has surveys and questionnaires to help students find their way through the psychological thicket of bullying.

Psychologist Alan Brandis has a page at http://home.navisoft.com/aapa /brandis.htm with an interesting essay on bullying. "When I went to school," he begins, "it was generally accepted that - just as in adult society - there was a sort of stratification of children's social world. Adults separate themselves through varying amounts of money or group themselves by profession (white vs. blue collar, etc.). Kids separated themselves by groups, too - older versus younger, popular versus not popular, skilled-in-sports versus not-skilled etc.

"In order to discourage bullying it is helpful to set up the environment to accomplish two things: the respect or admiration that was previously given for `negatively dominant' behaviour needs to be reduced or eliminated; and the bullying child needs to be shown (and then guided towards) a way to garner the social status he or she desires without using harassment or intimidation."

Another study available online is by Runar Olafsen http://www.abo.fi/ rolafsen /bully.htm "When people talk about bullying and try to explain it, they often seek the reason for the bullying within the victim's behaviour, personality or other characteristics of the victim," he says, going on to add that it's usually suggested that the victim, and not the bully, should move school.