For us parents the experience of the days and weeks when our child goes to school for the first time can be a time of great excitement, but may also cause some feelings of apprehension and anxiety.

You did all the right things to prepare for school. You attended the induction day and the reception day in the school and all went very well. You read all of the leaflets and advice sheets and tried to ensure that your child was as prepared as possible.

Yet, even now, two months on, there are some unanswered questions. Many types of questions can crop up in your mind.

Anxiety is natural! As parents of first children starting school we do not have the experience of many other parents who have had children at school already. It is not unusual that we might have some anxieties as our children are entering a whole new world of school which probably appears very different to the school which we attended.

Yet, in many ways, the problems are probably not very different for you than they were for your parents - and teachers have training and experience in coping very well with all types of difficulties and problems which arise in the classroom.

Look for answers: your children and their well-being are so important, you need answers and an assurance that everything is going to be all right. It is worthwhile and interesting to talk to your own parents, or friends who have experience of the school or parents of children at the same stage as yourself. Talk with them about your feelings and listen to what they have to say.

It is amazing the similarities which we find between us and also the support and reassurance which is available.

Talk with teacher. If you still have some nagging doubts about issues, contact the teacher. It is advisable to wait until the other children have left the classroom before you request a few minutes with her or him - or use whatever procedure is in place in the school for parents and teachers to meet.

If at all possible, ask a friend to mind your child while you are talking - because you will not want to pass on any anxiety your child.

It also helps to remember that teacher may be tired and drained at the end of the day with a junior-infants class, so allow a few moments for relaxation.

Before you get into the specifics of why you want to talk to the teacher, spend a few moments talking about what the day was like for her or him. When I was an infant teacher, I found it very encouraging and relaxing to have a chat with a parent at the end of the day, when the non-stop continuous bustle and shuffle of moving from one activity to the next had stopped. When you come to your "problem", try to be as specific as possible and listen carefully to the answers and direction you are given. In the great majority of cases, you will find that teachers have experience and have met similar problems before - and will be able to reassure you and assist you in supporting the children in settling.

However, if you are still unsure, make another arrangement to meet to discuss how matters are progressing.

There are a number of safeguards in regard to the infant child in school which will make life less complicated and more comfortable for everyone. You've probably heard about them already, but it's worth reminding you: mark your child's name clearly on everything that can be moved or left sitting around during the day. That's basically everything: lunchboxes, lids, plastic beakers, schoolbags, books, caps, coats, scarves, gloves, runners, shoes, tracksuit tops, pullovers and sports tops should have a name on them.

There is always confusion, upset and valuable time wasted when they go missing or - as the child will generally indicate - been stolen! Watch out for notices on the infant-class notice-board or classroom door. They might tell you about specific gear required for an activity on a particular day, or where to leave items such as lunchboxes. From time to time an old shirt or some material may be requested for art class.

YOUR CHILD gets notes about particular happenings in the school from time to time and it is advisable to check in the school bag - little children very often forget about them.

Infant children use up huge amounts of materials, so if you have access to computer paper, other paper, straws, cardboard or anything which you consider might be useful, talk with the teacher about it. And books are always gratefully received for the class library.

What the school needs to know. During the year you have opportunities to share information about your child's progress and general development with you child's teacher. However, if there is a health problem, a family problem or a family bereavement which may be upsetting your child, go in confidence to the teacher.

Children who are upset or anxious will find it very difficult to relax and learn in class. The teacher needs to know about anything which may interfere with your child's ability to learn. Similarly, if there is something in school which is causing upset, share it with the teacher.

Comparisons are invidious. Children at the infant age are at different stages of development with their learning, so avoid comparisons with other children. They can be invidious and harmful.

Some children may be able to read or even write, but generally they all need and enjoy play, rhymes, story and lots of physical activity.

Be there for your child. Help your child to build up self-confidence and a positive self-image. If you child is happy, relaxed and learning at school, you do not have anything to worry about. Praise, encouragement, fun, plenty of talk and activity are what your child benefits most from at this stage.

Your love and care and a positive attitude towards learning and school will help your child settle down quickly and bridge the gap between home and school.