The royal row over Prince William being exploited by his uncle, Prince Edward, at St Andrews is the kind of thing that goes on in many families.

It's an extreme example of the way many adult family members intrude in children's lives. We're not that famous, of course. But just as Prince Edward broke rules even the tabloids agreed to follow, we parents sometimes cross important boundaries of privacy and dignity in our day-to-day relationships.

Family members often intrude on each others' rights in ways they would never do to a stranger. Psychologists refer to these rights as "boundaries" and we cross them all the time. At its simplest level, we yell at the children we adore, when we wouldn't yell at a total stranger. We smack children, yet if we did it to a stranger we'd be arrested.

We also intrude in more sinister ways. Many parents burden their children with knowledge they shouldn't have, concerning parental relationships, for example. Parents use children in custody battles, turning children into cannon fodder. Some adult family members prematurely sexualise children, or even abuse them.

With teenagers and young children, we can forget that they, like Prince William, have rights to privacy. They should be allowed to make their own choices. Yet we impose our agendas on them, rather than seeing the world from their point of view. As Andrew Duggan says, parents need to take a "helicopter view" of their children's lives. You are a player in your child's life, not the other way around. Your child's feelings should always be centre-stage.

This is obviously a lesson Prince Edward never learned, perhaps because he himself has been intruded upon, and you have to feel sorry for him in a way, even though what he did is unforgivable.