THIS IS the month when primary schools around the State are busily putting the final touches to the preparation of their children for their first Communion and indeed many schools have already had their Big Day.

For a lot of people, the sacrament means little more than a miniature fashion show and the all important question "how much did you get?" Gone are the days of the Dublin tenements and the tradition, born of poverty, of donating a shilling to help pay for the clothes. And gone are the days when a child's first act of penance was an event reminiscent of Frank O'Connor's First Confession.

In the aftermath of Vatican II came a change in the age at which children receive the sacraments and a change in the imparting of religious education. Father John Flaherty, the Dublin diocesan adviser to primary schools, welcomes the changes.

"The approach to religious education is more holistic," he says. So are the days of ingrained questions and answers over? "There's a place for questions and answers," he says, "but we're human beings made up of more than head levels - the heart, feelings, imagination and spirit must also be taken into account."

In preparing children for their first confession and communion, this approach is evident. Preparation is no longer about reeling off "deadliers"; children's first act of penance is based on their everyday experiences of showing and not showing love, about learning right from wrong, still in privacy with a priest but with the reassurance of their parents waiting nearby.

Parental involvement is essential and most primary schools encourage preparation for parents as well as for their children. As leader of a team of six involved with Primary Schools, Flaherty is called on to visit schools and give talks to parents.

Among others he has enlisted to talk to parents is Anne Marie Horan, with whom he studied at the Mater Dei Institute in Dublin. A mother of three, Horan is a trained teacher of religion, but took early retirement to be at home with her children.

One of her methods when talking to parents about the sacraments is to get them to remember their own experiences of their first confession, whether good or bad, and to chat about them. "Sometimes I do relaxation exercises or meditation. It puts parents at their ease."

But the main objective of the sessions is to make parents aware of what the sacraments mean for their children and themselves. "I feel like I'm just a channel for a message and if even one parent goes home thinking about what was discussed, then I've done some good."

Although the teaching of the basic doctrine of religion remains unchanged, the method of instilling values into children has. It is no longer focused on crime and punishment; the hellfire and brimstone have been replaced with love and spirituality.

"The focus has changed to what it teaches us in the Gospel - not that you'll be damned to hell for your sins, but about knowing right from wrong, what your relationship with God and other people means," she says.

The sacraments of baptism, penance, communion and confirmation are major milestones in the life of a Catholic child. "They are initiations into their church," Flaherty says. But he believes that while individual spirituality is important, so too is the ceremony and celebration of the sacraments at a group or community level.