In recent years there has been a dramatic increase in death by suicide among young men in Ireland. A total of 111 young people killed themselves in the Republic in 1997; of these, 95 were male. A recent Barnardo's report on suicide highlights depression, relationship problems and drug abuse as contributory factors. The report referred to a study in Britain of seven adolescents who attempted suicide. Their common feeling was that "they felt they were sexually abnormal in some way".

While sexual orientation is only one factor in adolescent suicide, it is notable that there has been no research in Ireland to investigate the link between coping with the stigma of being gay and adolescent suicide.

International studies show that one in three gay adolescents attempts suicide. They are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. The majority of gay males who attempted suicide specified their sexual orientation as the prime reason.

In addition to the normal adolescent developmental hurdles, gay adolescents suffer a double jeopardy in trying to cope with society's stigmatisation of their natural sexual orientation, their very essence. As a result, they experience more self-doubt, low self-esteem, depression, social isolation and continually fear of exposure to family, relatives and friends.

Gay adolescents who want to conform to the views of their heterosexual peers may internalise homophobic and religious bigotry. They can become their own worst enemies. They can become prey to blackmail and harassment and cannot turn to the usual social networks of support and guidance.

Family, friends, adult role models are not available to them. For several years they may have to face traumas alone, without support or feedback from peers. Not surprisingly, international studies show that gay adolescents abuse alcohol and other drugs more than their heterosexual peers.

Gay adolescents are aware that disclosure to friends is a risk and may be met with acceptance or rejection. Confiding in parents - usually a mother first - normally results in acceptance, but there is also the danger that they may be met with rejection. As a result they may become homeless "runaways" or "throwaways".

Indeed it is this "coming out" period that is critical in relation to suicide attempts of gay adolescents. A significant percentage of gay adolescents who attempt suicide do so within three days of disclosing their orientation to family or friends.

The younger the person disclosing, the more at risk they are from a suicide attempt. The average age of disclosure to parents is 22, which indicates that most gay youths don't disclose until they are capable of emotional and financial self-sufficiency.

Generally, parents react to the "coming out" news with shock and disbelief. It is like hearing of the death of a close relative. A grieving response follows, including denial, bargaining, anger, blame of self and others. This normally eventually results in acceptance by parents of their "new" child, and there follows a realisation that there is nothing wrong with them or their child.

The real problem is to do with society's own fears and need to stigmatise others who are different. While parents' hearts may be broken, it leaves them open to realising that "the other is my brother". If one in 10 adolescents is gay, then, on average, one in four families has a gay child.

Religiously oriented adolescents may rely on fundamentalist Biblical interpretations rather than their own interpretation. A former fundamentalist Christian mother wrote about the suicide of her gay son in a book, Prayers for Bobby: "Our church and society do not give the young person a realistic answer, much less a humane solution to their discovery of being a gay person. You (Bobby) were the apple of God's eye just as you were, if only we had known."

For the lucky few, access to the Internet may provide a refuge where they can contact support groups such as Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). This was formed in America in 1981, by the parents of a gay child who had been the victim of a brutal hate crime. It now organises a worldwide branch network offering advice and support to gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans-gendered people and their families.

Unfortunately, as yet there is no branch in Ireland. The secretary of PFLAG, based in New York, told me about a poignant plea from a schoolboy in Belfast to send his school some educational literature. Similarly, the secretary of the London branch says that, based on the amount and type of calls, there is a "desperate need" for a branch in Ireland.

So where can an adolescent coming to terms with gay orientation gain non-judgmental advice in Ireland? Gay Switchboard provide access to a youth group. But as yet, in Ireland, there is no helpline advertised, as in Britain and US, to cope with the desperation that drives thousands of gay adolescents to engage in parasuicidal behaviour each year.

Ian McCabe PhD, H.Dip.Ed, MA (couns psych) is a counselling psychologist with the drugs and AIDS services of the Eastern Health Board, privately researching suicide and drug abuse among gay adolescents. He can be contacted at (01) 496 5998. The Gay and Lesbian Resource Centre can be contacted at (01) 670 6377.