Office parties, nights out, free-flowing alcohol, poor food served up as "traditional fare", sore heads the following morning and repeat performances the next night or weekend. And, of course, you wouldn't bother only for the kids . . . They, on the other hand, have been bombarded with advertisements which have set up expectations of expensive toys and plenty of them appearing under the tree on Christmas morning. Parents are placed under increasing pressure as the big day draws near. The Christmas hype is in full flow and the Celtic Tiger is purring away contentedly. And lost in the middle of all this hype, there is something about a baby being born a little over 2,000 years ago. (No, that's not a reference to Baby Born.)
Despite all the commercialism, there still remains a magic about Christmas. It is a time when families are drawn together, there is good will in abundance and we make contact with those with whom we have not been in touch all year. So why do so many parents wish it was over and look forward to the children going back to school again? Probably the answer lies in the lack of routine. The Christmas school holidays come during the darkest and wettest two weeks of the year. Children are likely to spend most of their time inside the house. There is excitement in the air - which is nice while it lasts, but more often than not ends up in tears. In addition, dietary routines go out the window with the proliferation of selection boxes and all the other goodies that are synonymous with Christmas. So if the commercial hype does not get your child wound up, the food certainly will. On top of all this, there is the prospect of visitors. This, again, can be a trigger for children to become upset or unmanagable. It is the unstructured times which are likely to cause the most difficulties for the child and the parents. Is it any wonder some parents have described Christmas as the longest two weeks of the year? It does not have to work out this way. There are steps parents can take to ensure they capture all the magic of Christmas for the children and can enjoy a tantrum-free festive season. It all comes down to some simple forward planning.
Probably the most important part of the planning process for Christmas is to develop some type of routine. That does not mean that you need to be running an army barracks; however, there is one principle which underlies all good parenting practice: that is, the child does the less preferred activity before the more preferred activity. For example, the toys need to be tidied up before the television goes on. (It is wise not to have the television going the whole time. If there is some variety during the day, it is less likely that there will be conflict.) There are lots of little jobs to be done connected with Christmas. Children generally love to participate in these and they are what truly makes the Christmas season special for the child. Helping mix the Christmas pudding and cake and making a wish, putting up the decorations, selecting the Christmas tree and decorating it, setting up the crib and visiting Santa are the very breath of Christmas. Arrange each day so that some of these activities follow the more mundane chores. Plan these activities for times when the child is most likely to be at a loose end. A little strategic planning goes a long way.
It is not necessary to succumb to the commercial pressures placed on parents to buy aggressively marketed toys at highly inflated prices. Christmas memories are not built on the price you have paid for presents. It is the small traditional aspects of Christmas that children value most. And that includes an element of giving. It is useful for children to be aware that there are children who will not be enjoying the same magical Christmas in certain parts of this or other countries. Donating some toys to charities is a very worthy Christmas tradition to develop. As for gifts, it is likely that your older children or teenagers will ask for money for Christmas. The envelope is usually accompanied with the cursory pair of sox and jox! While the money is probably exactly what the child would have asked for, they would appreciate something more exciting than underwear in their Christmas box. Preteens and teens are unlikely to tell you this. So use your imagination and pick something silly for that child who fits into the category of "difficult to buy for".
ANOTHER TIP for parents: keep the Christmas cheer to a minimum on Christmas Eve. There is nothing worse than a Christmas-morning hangover to put a damp squib on the child's special day. They will not understand your lack of enthusiasm at 6 a.m. for what Santa brought them - particularly if Santa has only left the presents a few hours earlier! Christmas Day is the high point for children of the holiday season and you are better off being able to enjoy it with them rather than wishing you were back in bed.
It is useful also to pace the day itself. It is probably not necessary to have all the family presents out on Christmas morning. The present from Santa will be sufficient. With all the excitement of the day, children will simply be unable to take in who gave which present; it is best to spread the distribution of presents across the holiday period. Indeed, they can be distributed following some co-operative behaviour or at those empty, unstructured times. If you do have to visit friends or relatives on Christmas Day, do so early - at least before they get to you! If nothing else, your house will be saved from the impact of a child stampede just before dinner. Getting visits out of the way means children can settle in to doing what they really want - playing with their new toys and watching TV. They do not even relish visits from other children, who might want to play with their new "stuff": friends should be allowed to come over to look, but not touch. At least not until St Stephen's Day.
For the rest of the holiday season, have some family board games. Each day should consist of some or all of the following: household chores, time to play with toys, time with friends, TV time, an outdoor pursuit (weather permitting) and family games. There could also be family excursions, e.g. to the cinema or theatre.
