This week Pricewatch compares four varieties of instant noodles

Super Snack Oodles of Noodles

€1.19 for 390g, €3.05 per kg

We’re not sure if these are exclusive to Spar, but that’s where we found these cheap noodles. The packaging tells us to “serve and enjoy”, a command which seems wildly optimistic, although we can appreciate why they did not say “serve and eat with grim resolve”. While the instructions are hardly complicated, they are needlessly fiddly – add 400 ml of water cook for three minutes and then drain the excess. What’s the excess? Why not just tell us how much water to add and not bother with the drainage. The noodles are slimy and the beefiness almost non-existent and they are only saved from a solitary star by their price.

Verdict: I'm not in love

* *

Marks & Spencer Shanghai Beef Noodles

€6.15 for 350g, €17.57 per kg

These score highly for being the only product that tasted like, you know, actual real food. There is genuine pieces of meat, and real – and really crunchy – vegetables in the mix and the udon noodles are lovely. The price above is somewhat – but unavoidably – misleading as the other prices quoted are for the products before they are introduced to the water while this price covers the water and all. The other issue we have is the salt content – a small, solitary serving makes up nearly half of an adult’s GDA which seems wildly excessive to us.

Verdict: Nothing Compares 2 U

* * * * *

McDonnells Super Noodles

€1.15 for 100g, €11.50 per kg

We were very suspicious of this company’s “Barbecue Beef” claim so were pleasantly surprised that there actually was a hint of barbecue to these. The cooking instructions are commendably simple and Oodles of Noodles could learn something from them — you just add 300ml of water, boil them for four minutes and eat. These actually have more substance than most of the competition and the noodles are nicely textured. They would probably be best served as a side dish as there’s not much by way of nutrition in them as a stand-alone dish.

Verdict: Wonderful tonight

* * *

Beef and Tomato Pot Noodle

€1.27 for 90g, €14.11 per kg

These are, if possible, even more solitary than the others and might be as far removed from a Valentine’s meal a deux as it is possible to get. They are comparatively expensive which makes their blandness all the more disappointing – although we did like the six bright green peas in the mix. We didn’t really get much by way of a beefy flavour – unless it was very heavily salted beef – and we couldn’t work out what that sachet of tomato sauce brought to the party. The company’s boast that this product was free from artificial colours or preservatives is all well and good, but that does not make this good for us, specially when a single pot has nearly a third of our saturated fat and salt allowance.

Verdict: Only the lonely

* *

Is there something you would like us to test? E-mail suggestions to pricewatch@irishtimes.com