POOR communications and conflict resolution skills were noted in about 88 per cent of all couples who asked for help with marital difficulties, according to the Cork Marriage Counselling Centre (CMCC).
In a report released yesterday the centre said that of 700 cases over the past two years, one third of the couples had sought help in making a decision about the future of their marriage.
More 60 per cent of couples were struggling with gender role expectations, while 30 per cent were coping with violence as part of their relationship. The agency also reported that 80 per cent of women were the emotional managers of the relationship.
Many couples preparing for marriage showed difficulties with alcohol abuse, violence and communication skills.
The CMCC said that the traditional approach to violence within marriage, often leading to the removal of the victim from the home as a means of protection, was no longer adequate. It was the abuser who should be removed.
Alcohol abuse should not be accepted as an excuse for violence against a woman, the CMCC says. In other jurisdictions, arrest was mandatory in the case of a violent abuser and the Government should consider introducing such a system.
The CMCC added that it had presented a submission to the Department of Justice, dealing with violence in the home and how the system could be better geared to cope with it. A spokesman said the submission called for specialised training for gardai and other professionals dealing with domestic violence
Mr Toddy O'Sullivan, Minister of State at the Department of Tourism, who represented the Minister for Education and Law Reform, Mr Mervyn Taylor, said it was regrettable that the amount of work which all marriage counselling services would have to contend with in future, was likely to increase rather than decrease.
The report also showed that for 26 per cent of couples infidelity was the central issue in marital breakdown 41 per cent of couples were worried about coping with the extended family and most marriages ran into difficulties during the middle years, when children were beginning to move on to secondary education.
The CMCC has launched new courses, including a 20 week course for men who are violent within marriage, and a course for parents on how to deal with children in a broken marriage.