Campaign Trail

CARL O'BRIEN'S sideways look at Election 2010

CARL O'BRIEN'Ssideways look at Election 2010

Floating voter revealed to be candidate’s loyal sidekick

Fine Gael’s Cllr Eoghan Murphy will clearly risk everything to canvass floating voters.

His fearlessness was splashed across the front pages of most newspapers yesterday as he handed out leaflets near Dublin’s Great South Wall.

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But we were puzzled over why he needed to secure the vote of swimmer Tiernan Sparks, who – it turns out – also works in Mr Murphy’s Dublin South East constituency office.

Maybe his loyal foot soldier was rescuing some party propaganda from the sea, and was innocently snapped handing them back to the Fine Gael candidate?

Or perhaps he was testing the choppy political waters on behalf of his political master? Unfortunately, the Dublin South East candidate wasn’t available to clear that up for us yesterday.

Quote Of The Day MicheÁl Martin

" The Dáil has too often been a Punch and Judy show . . . politicians are too interested in getting a soundbite on the news

Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin sums up the problem with modern politics in, eh, a soundbite.

Psychologist candidate gives  Dáil his damning diagnosis

Dr Mark Harrold, a clinical psychologist standing for election in Dublin North, has diagnosed part of the problem behind Ireland’s dramatic economic collapse.

“From what I can see it’s clear there are too many people at the top of politics with sociopathic personalities,” he told Campaign Trail. “It’s just like what happened with dysfunctional corporations like Enron: these toxic individuals are able to operate without a conscience and their driving force is greed or personal ambition.”

Dr Harrold, who is from Malahide and best known for blowing the whistle on the treatment of patients at Leas Cross nursing home, said the classic sociopath is self-obsessed, emotionally detached and lacks empathy. “In fact, studies show the only major difference between a serial murderer and sociopathic personality is the lack of social skills.”

You have been warned: next time you open the door to canvassers, we advise keeping it on the latch.

Ó Cuív catnaps as reform plans unfold

The Government has often been accused of being asleep on the job. Yesterday, though, Éamon Ó Cuív was accused of catching 40 winks at the launch of Fianna Fáil’s exciting plans for electoral reform.

Party handlers insist he just momentarily closed his eyes.

Whatever the truth of the situation, you can hardly blame the man who not only has responsibility for Social Protection, but Defence, Environment and Local Government as well.

Election online the best bits from

Ciarán Cannon’s tour of east Galway

Watch as Fine Gael candidate Senator Ciarán Cannon – through the magic of video editing – transports himself in a flash to different locations around Galway East. One minute he’s in Athenry. The next he’s on the tranquil banks of the river Suck. A second later he’s hanging out in Kinvara. This video must have taken him longer to shoot than it did to preside over the demise of the Progressive Democrats . . . http://tiny.cc/kuphk

Brian Cowen – I Wasn’t Expecting That.

Jamie Lawson has become something of an internet sensation with his song Wasn't Expecting That.

Now, Today FM’s Gift Grub has done its own take on the song – chronicling the rise and fall of Taoiseach Brian Cowen. Choice lines include, “I played a round with Seán Fitz/ Then they tore me to bits/ No, I wasn’t expecting that”.

http://tiny.cc/fa9jz

Political words

“Government ministers were paid too much and given huge sums of goodbye money as they left politics, even though they brought the country to its financial knees.”

– Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny at the launch of his party’s plans for electoral reform

“When Lisbon was negotiated we said they’d signed the State up to a very bad deal. I think the chickens have come home to roost on that.”

– Sinn Féins Mary Lou McDonald on the pressure facing the next government over retraining the corporation tax rate

“There will be less fake fury, less sound bites and I will be calling the taoiseach of the day to account on policy issues.”

– Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin promises a new kind of politics in the next Dáil