MICHAEL PARSONSstays at the Clarion Hotel in Limerick
‘STEAMBOAT QUAY” conjures up an image of
Show Boat
and cruising down the Mississippi. Sadly, there wasn’t a single boat to be seen on Ol’ Man River Shannon from the windows of Limerick’s Clarion Hotel – despite its location in the city’s rejuvenated docklands.
Ireland’s tallest hotel – 17 storeys and 60m high – dominates the skyline of the Treaty City, and its architectural profile bears more than a passing resemblance to the infamously vulgar Burj Al Arab hotel, in Dubai, which was built to resemble the sail of a boat.
According to a letter from the general manager in the guest rooms, the Clarion’s design was inspired by “the funnel of a ship” and not, according to “popular belief . . . the shape of a rugby ball”. The letter goes on to say that the hotel “aspires to the highest levels of contemporary elegance and style”. That’s a very tall order indeed.
A notice outside the entrance claimed “AA 4 star” status, whatever that means these days. But the interior is bland and fails to match the soaring exterior. The furniture and decor in the lobby are reminiscent of communist Poland.
Check-in was handled by a courteous and efficient staffer name-badged Declan.
A bright eighth-floor room certainly provided the promised “panoramic views”, offering an excellent snapshot of how much the city has changed since the Angela’s Ashes era, when Limerick was the Cinders among the ugly sisters of Irish provincial cities.
The room had that soulless international-business look – more three than four star – with cheap-seeming pale-wood furnishings, fiddly light fittings and an empty minibar. A sign of the recession or an oversight?
A bathroom with a shower over the bath isn’t “contemporary”. A four-star hotel should surely have a walk-in shower. Clingy shower curtains belong to the 1980s. And 2010 style dictates a flat- screen TV, not a clunker the size of a Volkswagen Golf.
The Clarion’s pay-TV service offered a choice of two erotic movies. In Limerick? Haven’t times changed? But who would dare, with the Redemptorists’ church just a brimstone’s throw away?
But the room was warm and spacious, provided reasonable desk space for catching up on work and had a very comfortable bed.
Unlike Dubai, prices were reasonable. The overnight rate was just €79. Breakfast, for an extra €10, was perfectly satisfactory, though not to be lingered over. Complimentary morning newspapers did not, unfortunately, include The Irish Times. However, a Limerick Post front-page story headlined “O’Dea promises to kick some ass” was pure mule.
A dinner menu outside the ground-floor Sinergie Restaurant advertised a three-course Graduation Menu. It was, apparently, catering to families treating their sons and daughters who had attended earlier ceremonies at the university. The menu had no prices. Wouldn’t pampered, feckless youth benefit from a life lesson in knowing the cost of a meal – especially as many are destined to wait on tables?
Although the dining room was not at all full, staff said no à la carte menu was available. So there was no choice but to opt for the oriental menu at the adjacent Kudos Bar. A main course of chicken in black bean sauce that normally costs €15.95 was available with tea or coffee for €10 with a complimentary voucher offered at check-in.
“Spas” are terribly last decade, but there is a “health and leisure” facility, if you care for that sort of thing, with the usual suspects of gym, pool, sauna and steam room. The city centre is a 10-minute walk away.
The hotel is part of the Clarion Hotels Ireland chain, which claims to be “the largest Irish hotel company”, operating hotels in Dublin, Sligo, Limerick and Cork with a grand total of 1,512 bedrooms.
WhereClarion Hotel Limerick, Steamboat Quay, Limerick, 061-444100, clarionhotellimerick.com.
WhatIreland's tallest hotel, overlooking the River Shannon in the centre of Limerick.
Rooms158.
Best ratesAn overnight stay, four-course dinner and breakfast for €50 per person sharing, on selected dates until the end of February.
Food and drinkThe Sinergie Restaurant claims to have a "passion for fresh, local, seasonal produce mixed with exciting flavours". There's more informal dining in Kudos bar, which specialises in oriental food.
AccessThe hotel is wheelchair accessible.
AmenitiesA health and leisure facility with gym, sauna, steam room and pool.
Child-friendlinessFamily rooms, babysitting service and kids' menu available.