Go Feedback: Richard Gillisgives some advice on how you can experience a real slice of the action at Twickenham
FOR MOST of the year the Grand Union pub in Twickenham is a pretty ordinary place, not somewhere you want to go necessarily, but harmless enough. But, for 10 or so days a year it changes character, like an accountant wearing a party shirt for the Christmas do.
On February 27th, when Ireland play England in the RBS Six Nations rugby tournament, the Grand Union will be full to bursting with red-faced men up from the west of England dressed in St George flags and singing Swing Low Sweet Chariot on a loop for eight hours, fuelled by industrial-strength lager and cheese-and-onion crisps.
The pub’s selling point is its proximity to the rugby stadium: it’s one of the first pubs you’ll see as the police try to push you and 75,000 others away from the ground. Drop in for a pint by all means. But if you’re still in there at 10pm, you know deep down something has gone very badly wrong with your weekend.
This is probably unfair on the Grand Union. We could list most of the pubs in Twickenham and Richmond town centres that are inevitably mobbed out on a big match day. But it could be so different, so much better. All it takes is a bit of planning, and some local knowledge.
The day divides roughly into pre- and post-match strategy. Kick off to this year’s game is 4pm, offering a window for a long, lazy lunch beforehand. Depending on where you’re staying, the chances are you’ll arrive by train. First tip of the day: Don’t go to Twickenham station, it will take you 20 minutes to get off the platform and your choices of where to meet up are immediately limited.
A better bet is to get off at St Margarets, one stop away, and meet up at the Turk’s Head a few minutes’ walk from the station. It does a barbecue in the garden and is popular with locals going to the game. From there it’s a 10-minute walk to the ground.
Better still, turn right out of the station and follow signs towards the River Thames, ignore the St Margarets pub on the corner and head for Marble Hill park and beyond to the Thames towpath.
Head left into Richmond, or even better, go right to the White Swan. This is a pretty little pub with a garden hanging over the river. Be warned, this is very weather dependent as the rest of the pub is tiny.
The final whistle marks the end of one game and the start of another. As you exit the stadium along with tens of thousands of others, you will very quickly reach the A316, the main road in to London. This is the stick-or-twist moment and your whole trip hangs on making the right decision.
If you take only one thing from this article let it be this: nothing good ever came of turning right on to the A316. This would lead you towards Whitton and then Hounslow, which has just one point of interest – Freddie Mercury was born there – but unless you really like Queen, it is to be avoided.
For weeks after the game, a few poor souls will still be found wearing comedy leprechaun hats roaming the back streets, pleading for directions out, like downed Japanese pilots still fighting the second World War.
A better alternative is to put some miles between you and the crowd and head either for Teddington, Richmond or Kew.
A left-field choice of hotel is in Brentford, which is southwest London’s black sheep, situated next to affluent Chiswick (where half the BBC lives) and Kew (for bankers who can’t afford Notting Hill).
But Brentford has its pluses, not least a big hotel overlooking the Thames that is handy for getting to and from the game and situates you perfectly for a stroll down the river on Sunday morning. You will eventually hit Chiswick High Road, with its wide choice of breakfast options.
From there, it’s a short cab ride up the M4 back to Heathrow. If the plan has worked, you get to take a few happy memories away, from both on and off the pitch.
Where to stay and what to do in Twickenham
Where to stay
Middle Cottage. 12 Ferry Road, Teddington, 00-44-7775-803664, middlecottage.org. This is a small, family-run BB situated on the River Thames, just next to Teddington Lock. It offers an intimacy and service that is the opposite of the usual corporate hotel.
The Bingham Hotel. 61-63 Petersham Road, Richmond, 00-44-20-89400902, thebingham.co.uk. For years this was a derelict townhouse overlooking the Thames towpath, but has been transformed into one of the funkiest boutique hotels in this part of London. Its cocktail bar is the place to be seen and the balcony has a great view.
Holiday Inn. High Street, Brentford, holidayinn.co.uk. Big, new and handy for the stadium. Overlooking the Grand Union Canal with all the usual facilities in the rooms and its own restaurant and bar.
The Petersham Hotel. Nightingale Lane, Richmond, 00-44-20-89407471, petershamhotel.co.uk. Pricey but a great location, overlooking the Thames and within walking distance of both Richmond Park and Richmond Hill. Mick Jagger is a near neighbour.
The Park. 1 Park Road, Teddington, Middlesex, 00-44- 20-86149700. Close to Bushey Park with its roaming deer and stunning gardens, this is a popular bar with rooms attached. Just far enough from Twickenham to beat the crowds. The train station is close by.
Where to eat
Brula. 43 Crown Road, St Margarets, 00-44-20- 88920602, Brula.co.uk. Atmospheric French bistro, white table linen, friendly service and authentic cuisine. Booking essential.
Nosh. 139 St Margarets Road, 00-44-20-88914188, nosh-restaurant.co.uk. The glass tile in the floor lets you see the chef cooking in the kitchen downstairs. The food comes in healthy portions and is excellent. A great post-rugby spot, a short walk from the ground.
Gaucho Richmond. The Towpath, Richmond Riverside, 00-44-208-9484030, gaucho-grill.com. Argentine steakhouse chain situated alongside the Thames, perfect for post-match analysis accompanied by massive slabs of meat.
High Road Brasserie. Chiswick High Road, 00-44-20-87427474. One for the morning after. Owned by the Soho House group, which gives an idea of the price point, but an ideal place to get a good cooked breakfast while reading the papers and recovering from the night before.
Gourmet Burger Kitchen. 15-17 Hill Rise, Richmond, 00-44-208-9405440. Just really good burgers, made to order, in and out in under and hour, right in among Richmond's many pubs. What more do you need?
What to do and see
Visit Kew Gardens. Approach along the Thames from Richmond or via the Kew Road. Rightly famous as a horticultural wonder, but also just a great place to wander around for a few hours.
Follow the deer in Richmond Park. Stunning, enormous and free. You won't believe you are still in London.
Muck about on the Thames. Boat trips up and down the river go every half an hour from just under Richmond bridge. You can reach Westminster in an hour.
Take a boat ride to Hampton Court. Restored to its original brilliance, this is a gem even if you don't want to pay for the whole tour. Maybe just get lost in the maze – and you will get lost.
Go to a Premier League match. Get up on Sunday morning and take the train from Richmond to north London to watch Spurs play Everton at lunchtime. Book tickets in advance.