Orna Mulchay on people we all know
Caroline feels a twinge of guilt as she texts her best pal Siobhan to cancel their coffee morning, but Rachel, the number one yummy mummy at school has just asked her over, and Caroline is gagging to see their new house, which she's heard is fan-tas-tic. Why listen to Siobhan's problems, which are nearly as boring as her own, when she could be finding out all about Rachel, who actually seems to have a life. She has gorgeous children, a handsome husband called Rob, a new Mercedes, amazing clothes and she knows everyone!
Already Caroline is planning a dinner party to include Rachel and Rob, but even as she mentally dusts off the Royal Doulton and wonders who would be good enough to meet them, she sees Rachel's kitchen and gives up the whole idea. They'd have to redecorate. Rachel's worktops alone must have cost €20,000, and they have a Sub Zero fridge. But even with all that money, she is very nice and down-to-earth, Caroline later tells Siobhan, who very much doubts it. No, really, she's extremely generous and has taken two tables for the tsunami quiz night, says Caroline, who not only has had the full tour of the house, but has also been invited over to drinks. This is a major coup, though the night in question has a B-list feel to it with everyone else obviously new friends, too, and while the famous Rob may be filthy rich, he is also quite rude and spends the whole night yawning.
Still, Rachel is great fun to be with and they're even planning a girlie trip to Spain together to shop for shoes and bathroom tiles. First, though, Rachel and Rob are going to Paris for a save-the-marriage weekend and, of course, Caroline will take the three children, who turn out to be picky eaters and bed-wetters and have to be driven to 52 different activities over the weekend which, in fact, is not a weekend at all, but a Thursday to Tuesday affair of non-stop sex and shopping. Hearing all the icky details about what they did in the jacuzzi doesn't quite make up for lack of a thank-you present, or even a thank-you. "I told you she's mean. Has she paid for those quiz night tickets yet?" asks Siobhan. Rachel is not mean, she's just a little scatty, says Caroline, who, being well organised herself, doesn't mind picking up Rachel's dry cleaning the odd time, or collecting the children while Rachel has her golf lesson or massage.
She's very generous with her time and has offered to introduce Caroline's husband Jack to some interesting contacts for his business, though the power lunch turns out to be just the two of them, and now Jack thinks that Rachel is pretty wonderful too. "I'd watch her," says Siobhan. Caroline is beginning to find Rachel's queen-like carry-on a bit annoying, but they're still friends, until she drives by one day and sees her cleaning lady slaving away in Rachel's kitchen. Husbands are one thing, but you don't pinch the staff, she tells Siobhan later over coffee.