A recession-proof restaurant in Dublin 4 offers a decent plate of dinner for €10, writes TOM DOORLEY
YOU KNOW THAT big barn of a restaurant at the Donnybrook end of Belmont Avenue? The one with the courtyard in front? In fact, I think it was called The Courtyard at one stage. Anyway, I didn’t like it very much in any of its previous incarnations, and had a suspicion the place might be jinxed, at least as far as good food is concerned.
But, reborn as Tenors (a pun, if you can call it that, on tenners), it has some merit. True, it’s still a big barn and it has no personality, despite the very pleasant and enthusiastic staff, no atmosphere when I was there, and a kitchen that is in no immediate danger of garnering a Michelin star.
But it does offer quite edible food at very keen prices. The idea is that starters cost a fiver, mains a tenner and puds a fiver. And the real idea is, of course, to get as many bums on seats as possible and to grind the stuff out in quantity and at speed. It is a self-styled “recession beater” and, as such, it seems to be doing a reasonable job.
I can’t say that I’m ever likely to let modest prices carry me away on wings of lyricism. Truly terrible food is truly terrible food at any price. When it’s dear, it just twists the knife in the wound.
The only terrible part of our meal was the, and I quote from the menu, “Sherry trifle – as it should be”. This is quite a claim and quite a controversial issue. My first requirement of a sherry trifle is that it should taste of sherry. This one didn’t. Beneath its thin layer of custard, it tasted of jelly and grainy sponge and diced apples. Which would be fine if you like this strange combination, but I don’t. Perhaps it would be more honest just to call it “trifle”. Just to digress for a moment. My idea of proper trifle goes like this: lots of custard, sponge sandwiched with raspberry jam and thoroughly soaked in sherry, slices of ripe banana, plenty of whipped cream.
Our starters were much happier things. A pot of moules mariniere – plump, sweet, properly cooked – was a steal at the price. A couple of duck and vegetable spring rolls with a chilli dipping sauce were not bad.
Confit lamb gigot chops were a new experience for us: braised in their own fat, I assume, until very tender, and served with a kind of champ and some reasonable enough gravy. It was, I suppose, a decent plate of dinner for a tenner in Dublin 4.
King prawns (which I realise I should not eat unless I know they have been sustainably produced, which is pretty rare) were more like princeling or even baronet prawns in terms of scale. They came with a lot of thin noodles and a dark, sweetish, chilli-ish sauce which became rather cloying fairly early on. I should have had the burger, of which I have heard good things.
The other dessert was a baked cheesecake with strawberry stuff, which was fine if very sweet (but that’s, perhaps, the idea).
Next day, with grim determination, I sat in the garden of Chez Max on Baggot Street, as the wind howled and the sky, of gun-metal grey, threatened a deluge. We have to be firm with this awful bloody summer. Anyway, their tartines are €7.90. I had the croque monsieur, based on excellent bread, the topping nice and mustardy, and it came with a little salad. Quite a recession-beater in its own way, I thought.
Anyway, the bill at Tenors, with an awful lot of house wine (this is the one downside of being able to order by the carafe, half-carafe, quarter-carafe and so forth; a bottle looks much more accusingly at you), still struggled to hit €70 with coffee and mineral water. My fellow parent and I agreed that Tenors would be a great spot for a teenagers’ night out. tdoorley@irishtimes.com
THE SMART MONEY
Those mussels, a glass of wine and a coffee would set you back less than €15.
Read Megabites, Tom Doorley’s blog on all things foodie, at irishtimes.com/blogs/megabites
Wine choice
The list is unrelentingly dull and not wildly cheap either. Wild Coast Semillon-Chardonnay, from Oz (€18), is sweetish and bland. Wild Coast Shiraz-Cabernet, at the same price, is perfectly drinkable, but not exactly thrilling. Le Coteau Sancerre is an okay deal at €35, Trimbach Riesling at €32 rather more so. Jaboulet Côtes du Ventoux is dear at €25, but a decent red.