Apple's iPod music players used to bring instant social prestige. Now their signature white 'earbuds' are as common as muck. Davin O'Dwyer has gadget anxiety
When the Walkman ruled the earth, it was regarded as antisocial, insulating its user psychologically as well as aurally. Didn't like the guy beside you on the bus? Couldn't stand the bustle on the streets? The quiet of the countryside needed livening up? Stick in the earphones and you transported yourself somewhere else. Crucially, you did it on your own.
The iPod has changed all that. Where once slipping in earphones was a way of shutting out the world, now it's a statement of belonging. Why? Because Apple's aren't merely earphones, they're earbuds, and where once all earphones were an indistinguishable black, the iPod's earbuds are a distinctive white. They are a badge of identity, a passport to a new community of iPod listeners.
Passing somebody else with earbuds allows a mutual acknowledgment of belonging. Never mind that they could be listening to Michael Bublé while you're listening to Arcade Fire; the sense of kinship has been established. Other earphone manufacturers have started to ape the buds, but any iPodder can tell the difference from five metres.
Not everyone is so astute, of course. A friend who was mugged as he walked through Brixton, in south London, had white buds in his ears, but they were plugged into a clunky tape recorder. The mugger baulked when he saw the retro technology; he just took my pal's wallet.
"What's the matter?" my offended friend shouted after him. "You would have killed for this 10 years ago."
In the early days of the iPod craze, when only the people of Manhattan and San Francisco had them in any number, white-budders would reportedly approach one another and offer to "jack-swap", or plug their buds into one another's iPods, to hear what the other was listening to. Early iPod adopters must have been confident that their peers had good taste in music. You'd never risk exposing yourself to Bon Jovi if you didn't have to.
In my case, the explosion in the iPod's popularity has left a bitter-sweet taste. I bought an iPod fairly early, at the end of 2003. Of the 10 million iPods that have been sold, eight million were picked up in 2004, with more than half of those in the last three months of the year. So I had a few months of being ahead of the curve. Then the curve caught up with a vengeance.
Being a white-earbud wearer had meant something at the start. The kinship with other iPodders was more exclusive, more genuine. Now you can't get a bus to Clifden without seeing half a dozen white earbuds.
Like a fan of some obscure band who resents all the new groupies when they make it big, I have come to look at earbud wearers with suspicion. Followers, I think. Where were you when the iPod was announced? Listening to your Walkman?
But now my left bud has developed a rattle. I should really replace it with a decent pair of earphones. Yet I agonise. Despite the decline in exclusivity, I still fear no longer being a member of the white-bud club. Sure, I'll still have my iPod, still have all my music, but I know what the future will hold.
I try to convince myself that it's the breaking of the all-white aesthetic that troubles me, but I can only dupe myself for so long. White-budded iPodders will no longer see me as one of them. Instead they will pity me. It is harsh, but I am guilty of it myself. You see someone with other headphones and the smug satisfaction of having all your music in your pocket kicks in.
But perhaps the backlash has begun. My best friend finally bagged himself an iPod a few weeks ago. One of the most painfully fashion-conscious people on earth, he is seriously contemplating dumping the earbuds for something "less common", as he put it.
I should get ahead of the curve again. Dump the buds. I've surely matured beyond the white ear attachments. Have some class, keep my iPodness to myself rather than flaunt it. Sounds good. All the same, I'm kind of getting used to that rattle.
WHAT GADGETS SAY ABOUT YOU
iPOD CASES The success of the iPod has spawned an industry of accessories. Cases come in shapes, sizes, colours and materials to suit every mood and budget, from Apple's iPod socks to the Swarovski Crystal-covered iPod case.
OWNERS SAY "Forget minimalist design. I want something everyone will notice."
WE SAY "As if you hadn't spent enough on the thing in the first place."
CREATIVE ZEN, iRIVER . . . Many people look at an iPod, then look at one of its slightly cheaper, less attractive rivals, and think they can forsake the market leader's style and simplicity. This is more likely to happen if they are buying it for a relative.
OWNERS SAY "It plays music. It fits in my pocket. What more could I want?"
WE SAY "Be honest. You still want an iPod."
iBOOK There's a perception that Apple Macs are merely more stylish than PCs. In fact they're also a world apart in terms of usability and security. But it's the minimalist white sheen, the curved angles and the glowing Apple logo that get you noticed when you pull one out on a train.
OWNERS SAY "See, it matches my shoes."
WE SAY "Oh look: a fashion victim."
DELL PCs The Fords of computers. Reliable, sturdy and bland. One of the more powerful Dell laptops requires a loose definition of lap: it's colossal.
OWNERS SAY "Would a white laptop not get dirty very easily?"
WE SAY "Shouldn't they be called Dull PCs?"
BLACKBERRY E-mail has become a chore. Filtering through spam, responding promptly and figuring out how to avoid responding promptly all take up valuable time. So, obviously, we all need a BlackBerry, a mobile e-mail device that offers a way to take up your time all the time.
OWNERS SAY "My thumbs are so fit."
WE SAY "Have you ever thought of playing hard to get?"
PDA Personal digital assistants were all over the US five years ago. Not to have one of these Filofaxes from the future was to admit your life was not worth organising.
OWNERS SAY "I know where I'll be at 3.20pm on May 29th. 2008."
WE SAY "Good for you. Could you send me a reminder to be somewhere else entirely?"
PORTABLE DVD PLAYER A long-journey staple, this is now the Walkman of film. But tiny screens mean this ain't no Imax cinema, and watching a long movie can be a race against the battery.
OWNERS SAY "Sure I could read a book, but Angelina Jolie isn't in any." WE SAY "For €5 I'll tell you what happens at the end of Gone with the Wind."
BLUETOOTH EARPIECE The original hands-free craze lasted for all of a month. Convenient as not having to hold a phone was, the wire dangling from your ear wasn't all that handy. Bluetooth has brought true hands- and wire-free phone use.
OWNERS SAY "I'm far too busy to waste a hand."
WE SAY "More Captain Berk than Captain Kirk."
WEIRD-SHAPED MOBILES Some Nokias appear to be designed for people with aversions to right angles. The 7600 and the 3650 (where do they come up with the wonderful names?) are perfect for the elliptically inclined. Not that the curves make them easier to use or anything. OWNERS SAY "The curves reflect my rounded personality."
WE SAY "Isn't it hipper to be square?"