Why brave packed restaurants on what is potentially the tackiest night of the year? Here's some sound alternative advice from a seasoned restaurateur, writes DOMINI KEMP
LOVE IS IN THE AIR. Oh yes it is. Tonight, all across the country, couples will be battling it out, slowly working themselves into a fighting frenzy that will burn slowly and then erupt over dinner for two in the local restaurant.
It might start off slowly and gently. The odd sarky comment here and there, or a reluctance to groom oneself to appropriate standards, because there’s a good match on the telly. A silent taxi-ride followed by too much flirting with the dashing maitre d’. A menu that rail-roads you into spending a small fortune and makes your heart burn in need of antacid rather than reciprocity. Staff who will be taking bets on who walks out first, or if anyone throws a glass of champagne over their date.
Some successful candidates will enjoy their dinner, confident that their receipt will ward off cynical spirits and ensure they get lucky. For other poor soldiers, they know that no matter how much money, fine food and booze is thrown at the problem, it just won’t be enough. Frantic phone-calls will be made to restaurants, trying to secure a last-minute reservation that will be impossible to accommodate. People destined for a night in the dog-house will offer their first-born if you can make their day, but alas, restaurants get booked up months ahead on this dreadful day.
Do I sound like a cynical old bag? More than likely, but too many nights spent working in restaurants on New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s night can do that to you. It’s just that the combination of Hollywood flicks and fantasies about Valentine’s Day can have the profound effect of bumping up one’s expectations to such an extent that one can’t fail to be disappointed.
Expecting a fairytale to happen on the tackiest day of the year is a big ask. Even from your very own Prince or Princess Charming. Hot-air balloon rides? A weekend in Paris? Erm, pass. And that’s not just because we’re in a recession. I would love to see a boycott of the stereotypical format and instead see friends and family getting together to have some nice grub. Why should Valentine’s Day be about couples? Yuck! It should be as inclusive and non-discriminatory as possible. If you want to go out for dinner, do it en masse! Restaurants prefer a few bigger tables than an endless row of tables for two. Or if you are dead-set on making this romantic dinner happen, then do it with style and have a good laugh, but remember not to say anything like: “Honestly, your bum doesn’t look that big.”
Beef Wellingtons (serves 4)
These are just a bit too ugly to photograph, but I do love them. Much easier to master than you think, and I don’t bother making the pancake bit either – too much stodge.
4 tbsp olive oil
50g butter
Salt and pepper
Sprinkle of caster sugar
4 fillet steaks
1 onion, peeled and very finely chopped
Few sprigs of thyme
4 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed
250g button mushrooms, very finely diced
Splash of cream
8-12 slices of Parma ham
1 pack ready-made puff pastry
Few egg yolks, lightly beaten
Heat half the olive oil and half the butter in a large frying pan till it is very hot. Sprinkle the top of the steaks with salt, pepper and a little sugar and sear the meat, seasoned side down. Sprinkle some more seasoning on the top surface and when you feel you have good colour on the bottom, turn them over and sear the other side. We are looking for maximum charred colour and flavour here, with as little cooking as possible in the interior. The sugar will help the meat to caramelise quickly, without cooking the meat. Once you’ve got some decent colour, remove from the pan and leave it to cool while you cook the mushroom duxelle.
Clean out the saucepan and heat up the rest of the olive oil and butter and fry the onion till soft. Add the thyme, garlic and mushrooms. Cook on a high heat as you want to cook the hell out of the mushrooms so you end up with a very dry mixture. Add the cream, season and cook until the mixture is uber tasty and dry. Set aside to cool.
When the steaks and mushrooms are cold, lay out three sheets of cling film (to give extra strength to your parcels) on top of each other. Lay out three to four slices of Parma ham and spread lightly with a layer of mushrooms. Place a steak in the centre, wrap up in the ham and then pull up all sides of the cling film to meet at the top and then twist around so you end up with very tight bundles. Repeat with the other steaks and then chill for a few hours.
We are trying to discourage the pastry from rising, so roll it into a ball and then roll out quite thinly and divide into four sheets. Unwrap the beef from the cling film and wrap in the pastry, using a little egg to seal at the top. Cut away any excess and use your fingers dipped in water to smooth out the seams and ensure the pastry is snug against the beef. Then place the ugly parcel, sealed side down, on a baking tray lined with some greaseproof paper. Brush with egg yolk and chill until ready to bake.
Heat the oven to 190 degrees and preheat a non-stick baking sheet. Just before baking, lightly score the pastry with a sharp knife, but don’t cut all the way through. Cook the beef, straight from the fridge, ugly side down, until the pastry is golden-brown and the beef medium rare, which should take 12 to 15 minutes. If you want them better done, watch that the pastry doesn’t burn – turn down the oven to 160 degrees and bake for an extra five to 10 minutes.
“Kit Kats” with hazelnut sauce (serves 4-6)
I got the gist of this recipe from the book by a very fancy French chef called Michel Richard who is based in the US. It’s his fine-dining take on a Kit Kat bar. It’s a tad fecky to make, but tasty enough when it’s all assembled. Perfect for tonight.
BOTTOM LAYER
200g milk chocolate
5 tbsp smooth peanut butter (approx 100g)
2 tbsp peanut oil (or sunflower)
100g crushed cornflakes
TOP LAYER
250ml cream
150g milk chocolate
HAZELNUT SAUCE
55g hazelnuts, no skin
110g caster sugar
1 tbsp water
120ml cream
120ml milk
Raspberries to garnish
Melt the 200g of chocolate in a bowl over a saucepan of gently simmering water. You’ll have to melt more later, so keep this all intact. In a food processor, whiz the peanut butter and oil, then add the melted chocolate.
Once blended, gently stir in the cornflakes as you still want some texture. Line a small to medium loaf tin with cling film, which should hang out over the sides, and spread the mixture on to the bottom of the tin. Loosely cover and chill.
Melt the remaining 150g of chocolate. Beat the cream until soft peaks form and then fold the cream into the melted chocolate, working quickly.
Pour the chocolate cream onto the peanut butter layer, loosely cover with cling film and chill for at least four hours.
Now to make the hazelnut sauce: toast the hazelnuts in a hot oven for five to 10 minutes, but don’t burn them.
Melt the sugar and water gently in a heavy saucepan. Don’t stir this mix, let the heat do the work and turn the mix into caramel. If sugar crystals start to form, brush the sides of the saucepan with a wet pastry brush so that they dissolve, but again, don’t stir.
Meanwhile, heat up the cream and milk until just about to boil.
When the caramel is a light amber colour (after five minutes of gentle bubbling) carefully add the hazelnuts and then very carefully (as it will splutter) whisk in the hot milk and cream mix.
Cook for about three or four minutes, so that it bubbles away and the caramel remains non-lumpy (other than the hazelnuts). Then transfer to a blender and whiz until fairly smooth. Make sure you have the lid on fully as this liquid will be killer-hot.
Then strain the mix, discarding the hazelnuts and allow it to cool. You can leave everything to cool down and set for four hours, or overnight, if you want.
To assemble, use the bottom layers of cling film to pull the whole slab out and chop into rectangles using a hot knife.
You can dust with cocoa powder if you like, but otherwise serve on plates, garnish with raspberries and spoon some hazelnut sauce around the dish.
dkemp@irishtimes.com