CYBER SORTER: Amanda Brownon when to subtly put the ball back in the other tweeter's court
Dear Cybersorter,
I have an ex-colleague who I’m almost certain is gay. Shortly after he moved to his new job he started posting pictures of his new girlfriend on Facebook along with out-of-character lovey-dovey messages.
He seems to be performing an online charade in an effort to fit in – or to convince his friends he is straight.
It doesn’t matter to me or his other friends whether he is gay. I would like to explain this to him, as I don’t think he’s happy, but I’m not sure how or if I should. I also feel a bit sorry for the girlfriend.
JO’B
Dear JO’B,
Our Facebook page is a front for the personality we wish to project and polish for our wider circle of friends and acquaintances. By going over the top on Facebook about his current girlfriend your friend is asserting publicly, that he is straight and madly in love.
It is his prerogative to choose if and when he wants to come out and to whom. He may be using this girlfriend unfairly, but he may not. Everyone takes a leap of faith when they begin a relationship. It isn’t your job to protect her heart or his sexuality – and neither would thank you for trying.
Dear Cybersorter,
An ex is following me on Twitter – all well and good except he ripped me off years ago.
Then, I was shy and overly accommodating. I knew he had emptied my account pretending my card was stolen – but he knew the Pin. I am ashamed to say, we carried on until a later date when the relationship ended thanks to another crisis.
He’s quite well known now, a consummate professional. Friends find it hilarious, but I have an overwhelming urge to take him to task publically.
GK
Dear GK,
Allowing this man him to continue on now as if nothing has happened is allowing him to continue to use your psyche as a doormat.
I can see how shaming him publicly is tempting. One can be so venomously pithy in 140 characters or less, for example: “#ff @smoothgit if you want bank account cleared out by lying piece of scum with no conscience.”
However tempting it is, though, airing your dirty laundry – or launderer, for that matter – on Twitter tends to draw judgments on, and distancing from, you by other friends.
It doesn’t need to be quite so direct. Try tweeting “@smoothgit Hi, great to be back in touch. I’ll DM my a/c details for the reimbursement.” No one else need know the full details, but he will know exactly what you mean. He will also know that if one of you is now taking it lying down, it will be him.
C
yber Sorter's summer picks Radio-related tweeting
Broadcasters
- @ruthscott2fm
BioDoes stuff on 2FM RTÉ TV. Available for weddings, bar mitzvahs and first holy communions!
Typical tweetIt's Mary the Crystal Swing mammy! Met her in the loo @ the Grown ups pre-meeeeeeeeeer! Look how surprised I look! http://yfrog.com/1ni1snj
- @cooper_m
BioPresenter of The Last Word from 4.30-7.00 on Today FM. Author (Who Really Runs Ireland?), columnist (Sunday Times, Irish Examiner) and TV3 sports host
Typical tweetHome after 13 days out of Ireland, away from twitter. What really important things did I miss/need to catch up on?
- @MiriamOCal
BioTV Radio Presenter/broadcast journalist with RTÉ, Ireland's public service broadcaster. The views I express here are my own personal opinions.
Typical tweetGot a flat tyre outside Dingle suddenly before us was the friendliest tyre shop on earth. Proof – there is a God
- @Dave98FM
BioOn the radio. Happy.
Typical tweetAt the risk of sounding (more) like a douche, it's actually TOO hot in Spain today. I'm going back into the pool now. Later!
- @Grainneseoige (left)
BioRTÉ Presenter, yes, it's really me.
Typical tweetI can't sleep. Too many early mornings this week.
Broadcast Apps
- RTÉ Radio 1 and 2FMboth have free apps from iTunes. Listen to Radio 1 or 2FM anytime, even abroad, and access podcasts from here.
- Today FM and Newstalkalso have good free apps on iTunes
- RTÉ News.ieFree for android. Contains only what is in the RSS feeds – which, most of the time, is not much more than a headline. It's popular with most users. Some complained of slow uploading and crashing.
- NPR AddictFree from iTunes. Browse NPR content by programme, series or on-air personality. Includes All Things Considered, Morning Editionand Car Talk.
- NPR NewsFree on Android. Listen to live stream or Morning Edition, All Things Considered, Talk of the Nation, Fresh Air, and Wait, Wait . . . Don't Tell Me.
- BBCNewsFree on iTunes. Breaking news from the BBC.
- Beeb AnywhereFree for Android. Breaking news from the BBC.
- UK News appFree from Ovid for Nokia. Up-to-date news from the Guardian, the Times, the Telegraphand BBC News.
