Kilian Doyleexplains the VRT changes in the most logical and civic-minded way possible . . .
THERE APPEARS to be some confusion about the forthcoming VRT and motor tax rates. In fact, it's been months since I've read an article on the subject that doesn't contain the word "confusion" at least 11 times.
In response to a recent survey that found most people were aware that change was afoot, but hadn't a breeze about the specific details, Minister for Elves and Organic Cement, John Gormley is planning a public information campaign - to clear the air, as it were.
I'm with the Minister on this. I think it is right and proper not to tax cars on the harm they actuallycause. It's much more sensible to tax them on their potentialto harm. Obviously.
As a civic-minded chap, I'd like to do my bit to help by allaying fears about some of the more controversial aspects of the system.
Believe it or not, it's really quite straightforward.
If you've half a mind to buy a brand new car after July - and let's face it, that's all you'll need - you simply need to look up its carbon dioxide rating to calculate your VRT and road tax liability. Multiply this rating by the square root of your local village idiot's IQ, divide by the number of fingers I'm holding up and add to the length - in cubits - of a piece of string. The final figure is your tax bill in Mexican pesos. Convert into euro and badaboom, badabing: simple. No confusion there.
However, if you are importing a second-hand car without a verified emissions rating that'll satisfy the Revenue, things get a bit murky.
My understanding is that you'll have to collect some exhaust fumes in an old bottle - perhaps best to avoid one that's been used for carbonated drinks, for fear of contamination - and bring it to your nearest testing centre where they'll have a sniff of it and pull some random figure out of their heads. And, with a job that entails sniffing petrol fumes all day, out of their heads they'll be.
Granted, this is a gamble as you can't know what they'll charge you. But if you don't at least try, Revenue will automatically assume your car has the emissions rating of India and charge you maximum VRT.
You can, of course, appeal. And a-wail and a-gnash your teeth. For all the good it'll do you.
Now that that's cleared up, you should be aware there are more gems in the small print that other less conscientious media outlets may not have brought to your attention.
First off, cars will have mandatory labels displaying their efficiency ratings, similar to the ones you see on fridges.
Hybrid drivers will be given sheet-sized labels to stick on their cars so the rest of us filthy gougers will know to prostrate ourselves in the gutter in gratitude as they pass by on their way to a group backslapping session on the high moral ground.
You'll pay 56 cent more per week in road tax if you register the car when there is an R in the month. And €87 a day more if there is a Y too. That's illogical, you say? Who said anything about logic?
Drivers of blue vehicles will get a 0.034 per cent discount, unless they are SsangYongs, in which case they will pay a prohibitive €83,604 in tax per annum. This is designed to protect people from themselves. Owners of pink cars will pay double normal tax for the same reason.
It's not all draconian. To show the Government has a heart, there will be free road tax for life for any unfortunate who has ever found themselves within 200 metres of Jackie Healy-Rae.
Told you it was simple. I can't for the life of me see why anyone could possibly be confused. I'm certainly not.