Pat Shortt, comedian
Rides: Vespa 200 PX and a 1960 James Cadet
What bikes do you have? I have two bikes; one in bits and pieces, and one I ride - a Vespa 200 PX scooter. The one in pieces is a James Cadet 1960 that I'm threatening to do up. It's in a mess so it needs a lot of work. I rode it back from the Kilkenny Vintage Show once and it split in two on me. The chain came off and I had to leave it in a woman's house and hitch back home to Limerick. I crashed it on the way down that day as well and ended up in the ditch a few times stung to bits by nettles. Sure that's the joys of motoring.
Have you always been interested in motorcycles? My first bike was a Kawasaki 100 and I used it to commute up and down to Dublin from Limerick. My younger brother Peter is mad into bikes. When we were kids we used to tear bikes apart and put them back together again to ride up and down the roads. When I was younger myself and my friend made a chopper bike. It was bits and pieces of lots of different bikes. It had a BSA A10 frame, a Norton front, a Harley Davison saddle and horn and an LTD 440 Kawasaki engine. I ended up "ratting it", I sprayed the whole thing black, including the chrome, to give it a Mad Max look, then I got rid of it.
What other machines have you had? Before I got the Vespa I had a Honda Bros 400 which was great for going up and down to Dublin. I did the journey once by car and it took me about six hours so I decided to use the bike instead, which only took two and a half hours on the motorway and filtering in and out through the traffic.
What do you use your scooter for? Biking is more of a hobby than a necessity for me nowadays because I have three kids and I'm very busy with work. I use the scooter for popping in and out of town, in Limerick where I live, because I can avoid the traffic. I also enjoy going out on the bike when the weather is fine. It's powerful enough to ride up and down to Dublin.
I sometimes go on rallies with a scooter club based in Waterford. I used to be a ska when I was a kid, so whenever I get the opportunity I'll go on a rally for the craic. It's funny to watch thirty-somethings jumping around to music in their Fred Perry's. I even bought a parka for the craic, but I'm not brave enough to wear it. I have all the mirrors on the Vespa though.
Did you do the bike test? I did and I have a full licence. I thought the test was very odd to be honest. I was riding around on the bike and I don't think the tester was following me half the time. There I was waving my hands like a gobshite and yer man wasn't driving behind me looking at what I was doing because when I got back to the test centre he was standing there waiting for me.
• Pat Shortt's new comedy show Killinaskully will be starting on RTÉ 1 on Sunday October 3rd at 8.30 p.m.