ROAD TEST: Testing cars is a trying business, especially when they give you a car like this for a week. Now Michael McAleer might sell his house to get his own Boxster.
Last week, amid the over-priced roses and Ukrainian "champagne" that makes Valentine's day so special, we had our own little affair of the heart. Our paths crossed for Valentine's week, but we were from different worlds and I knew it was never meant to last.
Yet it had all the ingredients for a romance novel - fast, furious and set to its own soundtrack, an automotive oratorio of mechanical perfection.
My heart was stolen by a Porsche Boxster S. One week of sheer driving excess, it was the easiest and most enjoyable 500-mile test we've completed for some time. In a week where emotions peek, where love, anger, envy and sadness feature heavily, our very own emotional roller coaster took us from the ecstasy of collection to the agony of parting.
In the meantime, it meant missed appointments and long hours spent together. Now it's back to the mundane reality of life. But what a time we had, and what a car!
It was the initial looks, as it sat there parked in the dark, that first caught our eye. It has the fast eye-catching looks of a sports car, but in the Porsche tradition it's presented in a form of understatement that distinguishes style from fashion. Neither flashy nor gregarious, it prefers to turn heads than provoke catcalls. Who wouldn't be wooed?
Then, of course, there's little to compare to the sound of a Porsche flat-six cylinder engine sparking to life. This is the type of car that makes you reconsider whether owning a house is all it's cracked up to be. Options never even considered are fully researched - buy a Boxster and move lock, stock and one smoking wife into a small caravan.
This is the latest update of what one commentator called Porsche's diamond-encrusted lifejacket, the car that saved it from financial ruin and put it back on the road to where it is today, one of the most profitable car companies in the world.
While it first took to the streets in 1996, its lineage dates back to the likes of the classic 550 Spyder and before. And in design it retains the front light clusters and blemishes on either side of the nose that identifies a Porsche.
The latest model has been tweaked and tucked, yet thankfully the men and women at Porsche's home outside Stuttgart know not to tamper with something that works like a dream. Therefore, its well-earned reputation for excellent handling means the chassis remains untouched, with only the exterior and soft-top roof getting a makeover that's more a manicure than facelift.
As anyone with rudimentary physics will tell you, the route to good handling in a car is a low centre of gravity and good weight distribution. So, while the rear-engined 911 earned an unfortunate reputation for "unique" handling characteristics in its early days, no such issues arose with the mid-engined Boxster.
This is the pinnacle of perfect handling. The secret of its success is the midship location of the engine, keeping everything balanced on an even keel.
The taut chassis lends itself to little bodyroll in corners and are combined with great swathes of rubber - power being transmitted to the road via stylish 17-inch spoked wheels encased in 285 mm of prime Michelin. The price paid here is a rather choppy ride, but nothing unexpected and, even on some of the most poorly surfaced back roads, it handled the broken surfaces with a firm jolt rather than a back-breaking shudder.
With the Boxster, the engine seems perfectly in tune with the handling, and the chassis seems more than capable of taking on the power. What's more, they have mated this with a great power steering system which allows easy handling in city traffic, a tight turning circle - and is informative and responsive when on full attack. You'd be hard-pushed to get a more responsive feel if you got out and studied the road surface yourself.
As for performance, the Boxster S has a 3.2-litre of the test car, which was married to the tiptronic automatic gearbox which can take you from 0-60 mph in 5.7 seconds and from 50-70 mph in 7.5 seconds in fourth gear. That's real power, topping out at 164 mph - the sort of speed that can see you approach the end of this decade without a driving licence. In fact, a great deal of time is spent with one eye on the road, another in the mirrors and, in between, keeping a fix on the speed - it's easy to let this car run away.
To give an idea of where speed control fits in the Porsche psyche, look at the three-dial cluster, dominated by a large rev counter in the middle, with the speed dial tucked away to the left as if an afterthought.
There is a digital display of speed at the base, but it's sometimes obstructed when you're challenging the laws of physics on the back roads. However, when you're in manual mode the rev counter's location helps you keep check on the red line which rapidly approaches. You find the finest engine note is hit over 4,000 rpm.
The hot hatch brigade is getting into roadster territory these days, but the Boxster S leaves most of its competitors standing. The 2.7-litre Boxster can't be seen as a slouch and, while the hot hatches come within shooting distance, it brings to the table superior handling, confidence and, above all, pedigree - something earned only through years of hard work.
The Boxster's silky smooth throttle response allows smooth allocation of the S's 260 bhp. But if you should find yourself in a spot of bother, the array of roll bars and air bags - all incorporated in the Porsche Side-Impact Protection system (POSIP) - are aimed to absorb and divert impact energy away from the occupants. Comforting to know, though not of course aimed at making you complacent in charge of this force.
All this power works in perfect harmony with the brakes. They are among the best we've tested, giving confidence to push the car further towards the rev counter's red line.
Unlike other roadsters, such as the more raw-racer Lotus Elise/Opel Speedster, this is a far more refined package all round. The interior, while being at all counts functional and slightly less sophisticated than some competitors, is thankfully far removed from some current trends towards creating veritable technofests in the cabin.
Seats are supportive and the optional Bose stereo system is excellent, offering concert hall-like sound quality, though why you would want to listen to anything other than the engine when sitting in a Porsche defies understanding.
The Boxster features a retractable spoiler, which reduces air resistance and, particularly at high speeds, reduces rear axle lift. It extends only at about 75 mph and retracts again at 50 mph, nobody on this island will get a chance to see it since we are all good law-abiding citizens. If you're really desperate to see it, you can extend it manually.
You can't expect this type of car to be as fuel-efficient as a Fiat Seicento, but we were able to eke out just over 22 mpg in a mixture of road conditions and a good deal of heavy town traffic. That's not too far off the official combined figure of 26.7 mpg. The 64-litre tank was able to take us well over halfway on our 500-mile trek before we needed to even consider slowing down at the sight of a petrol forecourt.
As Porsche aficionados will know, the way to tell the difference between the Boxster and Boxster S externally is the tailpipes - a single fat elliptical pipe for the Boxster and a twin set for the top-range S. Worthwhile information for many, as the tailpipe is probably the most common view the rest of us get of a Porsche unless it's parked.
So, flaws? Just one . . . at €90,000 it doesn't come cheap. Yet these cars retain their value thanks in large part to the tight rein Porsche keeps on its supply chain. This keeps the market hungry for more and, for owners, keeps value long into the car's lifespan.
It can be hard to say goodbye - actually it's heart-wrenching. But now it's off to play with the hearts of some other poor motoring fool. For me, I'll have to win back my friends and enjoy the pleasures of the supermini market for a while as I return to the real world.
FACTFILE
ENGINE: 3,197 cc flat six-cylinder unit offering 260 bhp and 310 Nm of torque at 4,600 rpm with either a six-speed manual or Porsche's Tiptronic S gearbox.
PERFORMANCE: The Boxster S offers a top speed of 164 mph and a 0-60 mph of 5.7 seconds.
SPECIFICATION: Boxster S comes with an advanced safety system, air con and the option of a high quality Bose stereo system.
FUEL: Urban 17.8 mpg. Extra-urban 35.3 mpg. Combined 26m7 mpg.
PRICE: €74,500-€90,200.
THE COMPETITON:
Porsche Boxster S: 3197 cc; 5.7 (0-60); Max speed 154; 260 bhp; 26.7 mpg combined; €70,200.
BMW Z4 3.0i: 2979 cc; 5.9 (0-60); Max speed 155; 231 bhp; 25.8 mpg combined; €58,000*.
Mercedes SLK 320: 3199 cc; 7.3 (0-60); Max speed 142; 218 bhp; 24.8 mpg combined; €65,905.
Honda S2000: 3997 cc; 5.6 (0-60); Max speed 147; 237 bhp; 28.5 mpg combined; €59,500.
Audi TT 3.2 Quattro DSG: 3189 cc; 6.6 (0-60); Max speed 155; 247 bhp; 28.8 mpg combined; €68,000*.
* Prices to be confirmed at Irish launch.