A very woolly insurance story

Nearly 250 high-risk crocheters were insured to return to crocheting last year after appealing to a high-powered insurance industry committee similar to one operating for the State's motorists.

Many of these crocheters were considered uninsurable due to their convictions for a string of serious wool-related offences.

The vast majority of those refused - some 214 - had been caught in possession of a crochet needle whilst being the worst for wear. One woman was actually found guilty of weaving a tapestry of lies.

Under current Irish legislation, third party insurance coverage - unravel and tangle cover optional - is required for all of the State's two million registered crocheters.

Crocheters who have been refused quotes from three or more insurance firms may appeal to the Declined Crocheting Cases Committee (DCCC) of the Irish Insurance Federation. Applicants must produce proof of the refusals in writing or be faced with having to tie up lots of loose ends at a later stage.

The committee is broadly similar in operation to the Declined Cases Committee which adjudicates in cases where motorists are unable to secure insurance cover for various reasons.

The DCCC was established in 1986 following a string of high profile crochet-related incidents. In one case, a junior minister's mother - herself a county councillor of no mean reputation - was refused cover by 11 different insurance companies after she was suspected of using a crochet hook to scratch the back of a property developer in North Dublin.

The property developer reciprocated by delivering a brown envelope full of valuable yarn to her son's Dáil office. This same yarn was subsequently spun out in Dublin Castle for years. And years. And years.

The DCCC, like the DCC, was initially made up solely of insurance company representatives. Following suspicions, the DCCC was attempting to pull the wool over crocheters' eyes, the Insurance Ombudsman's Office was appointed as an independent observer in 2004.

The 19 insurance companies operating in the Irish crochet market adhere to the Declined Crocheters Case Agreement (DCCA). Under this agreement, one of the firms will be nominated to provide cover for the applicant. (At a price, obviously. There's nothing free in the cutthroat world of crochet insurance.)

According to the Insurance Ombudsman, the only circumstances in which the DCCA will not operate are where to provide insurance for the crocheter in question would be contrary to the public interest.

Any crocheter who, for example, knits a camouflage balaclava for her nephew who is in the Real IRA would come under such a heading. As would those found guilty by a court of law of using crochet hooks to pick the locks of sherry cabinets or for scratching their backsides.

Perhaps surprisingly (or perhaps not, depending on the depth of your cynicism) not one of the 246 applications to the DCCC last year were turned down.

A spokesman for the insurers denied they were being overly lenient in granting insurance to absolutely everybody who applied, without exception, no matter what their past history.

He also rubbished suggestions that desperate crocheters were being exploited as easy money by insurers. (The average annual premium for those crocheters granted cover after applying to the DCCC in 2005 was €127,856.)

"We're only poor insurance companies trying to help these unfortunate people," the spokesman said. "It's our civic duty and we are, contrary to what you may be told, not in it just for the money. Anyway, if you think that's bad, have a look at what our colleagues up the hall are charging motorists."

A spokesman for the Irish Crochet Society said he was not in a position to comment. "I'm a bit tied up at the moment," he told The Irish Times.