Two days and 612 miles, all in a good cause. Michael McAleer reports on last weekend's Mini Head-to-Head Adventure
Last month it was the Gumball 3000, a coast-to-coast race across the US by car fans and mini-celebs that took three days, with Ferraris and Maseratis comfortably cruising at 150mph.
Last weekend we took part in our very own Gumball. Only this time it was coast-to-coast in Ireland, with the Minis but without the celebs, and speeds averaging 50mph rather than 150mph. The Garda crackdown on speeding, Operation Taisteal, held no threat to our adventure.
In aid of Our Lady's Hospital, Crumlin, over 50 Minis of all generations joined the two-day run from Mizen Head in Co Cork to Malin Head in Donegal, a 612-mile trek on back roads with stunning views and every weather condition. The participants were neither the poor little rich kids, nor playboy models. These were men and women, some with kids in tow, determined to spend a bank holiday weekend with their better half, and their married partners if their interested in coming along. The talk is of Minis, previous runs and reminisces. For many it's a reunion with friends, young, old and mechanised.
Day one:
The second day of our great trek and Donegal is our target. Only today's run is in the best of the wild western weather. Outside Castlebar and we're sent up what is known as the Windy Gap, little more than a boreen with not just grass but a virtual hayfield growing in the middle of the "road". But it's a road made for Minis, first left, then right, then left again. So it continues for what seems like an hour, even traversing through farmyards.
A bemused farmer crossing from his sheds on one side to the house on the other seems to greet us with the look of someone who's not that happy to have his Saturday morning chores interrupted by a convoy of nippy little Minis zooming past his front door.
The narrow gap in his front yard must mean that Minis are the only cars he ever sees past here. The tight winding track at one stage seems to be heading straight for his kitchen door.
As we prepare to enter the house, turn left at the bathroom and exit through the window in the main bedroom, the car in front takes a sharp left and we manage to manoeuvre between barn and house without too much trouble.
The narrowest routes from the trip so far clearly show the difference between the two generations of Minis.
The new BMW-built cars and their lower-set predecessors are unmistakably related. The modern version is accepted as part of the family by the traditionalists, something that VW must envy when they consider their Beetle which has failed to make the connection with its iconic predecessor.
Yet there are differences between the two generations, the most obvious being in terms of size. As a result the more go-kart-like older Minis seem to be able to corner on a coin and are perfectly capable of weaving through the close-set cats eyes on the road.
The new MINIs (note the capitalisation, courtesy no doubt of some marketing whiz at BMW) take a wider swing in and it's most notable on the narrow boreens, where straight-line speed and power are not a factor.
However, it's all a matter of degrees, for the nimble cornering of the MINIs make others seem like double decker buses.
Up through Donegal and past Glenties before skirting the
photogenic Glenveagh National Park. Unfortunately at this speed and in this weather there's little to see and it is enough to try and make out the car in front through the soaked windscreen. It's like driving through a car wash, but we manage just to avoid running into the back of our colleagues in front.
Over the poorly surfaced Donegal roads and the occupants of the 13-year-old Mini in front are being bounced around like popcorn in a hot pan. At one stage they seem to be thrown into the back seat, then swap seats and I'm sure they were both facing me out the back window on one occasion.
By now we are all feeling the fatigue of eight hours behind the wheel and we're running on auto-pilot as we meander up to Malin Head. At this stage the beautiful scenery has lost its edge and we have just one target in sight, the concrete tower at the top of the Head.
Once there it's time for reflection. With €40,000 raised for Our Lady's Hospital over the past five years, it's a worthy way to spend the bank holiday weekend. And the cars are sheer fun.
We may just splash out and buy an old Mini so we can enter next year.
Day two:
Early morning and, as the sun rises over the shores of Glengarriff, a line of bottoms can be seen between the hotel front door and the main road. As if the old-Minis are chewing on the upper bodies of their owners, a line of Minis are set off with a pair of legs, a rump end and no main torso. The morning ritual feedings of the Minis, a particularly hearty breakfast required considering the arduous trip ahead.
If the trek from the four corners of the country was not enough for the keen participants, a 6am start from the hotel at Glengarrif, Co Cork, on a 'soft' Friday morning was enough to call into question anyone's affection for what snide critics refer to as nothing more than glorified go-karts.
However, 30 minutes behind the wheel and up the Caha Pass you quickly appreciate that what the critics may see as its drawback is in fact the very reason it attracts so much affection and strong emotional ties from so many. Add in the extra sauce that comes with the Cooper models and the package has the attraction for fans of driving that warms the heart of many driving fans.
Understandably the south to north run in ageing Minis would have lost a great deal of its sheen on the main roads (what there are). So thankfully the organisers chose a network of roads ideally suited for
these champions of cornering on a coin.
Clearly thanks to years of under-investment, there are plenty of potential candidates. For us the thought of a cross-country run was daunting, but was a leisurely jaunt for the experienced set, those who've completed the previous five runs, the early ones taking the same tight winding roads yet all completed in one day. The idea of an overnight in Westport seemed to them a virtual holiday drive. Not for us.
So, with Minis fed and watered we head for the North, keen as muster yet innocent of the journey ahead. Around the lakes of Killarney and up to Castleisland. As the morning traffic increases, bleary-eyed Kerry awakens to the sight of a convoy of Minis weaving through the morning traffic. It brings a smile to many, a stream of colourful phrases from others, less than appreciative of the added traffic delaying their morning run to work.
But our sympathy for the commuters is blunted by the task at hand - reaching our first target, the Tarbert ferry. Along the way we pass the first of the casualties, an ailing estate chewing on two Mini club mechanics.
The owner manages a weak smile and in return receives sympathetic waves from the passing Minis. Further up the road we see the terminal sign for all
owners, the dreaded 4x4 replete with trailer.
From our short time spent with the Mini owners, we can begin to understand the sense of disappointment when it pulls up alongside your personal chariot. Thankfully this time it seems this Mini escaped the fateful journey to the nearest garage.
On the ferry it's our first encounter with one of the main groupings. Leaving the ferry and we're now firmly ensconced in the Mini line-up, through Kilrush where in the town square we pass the financial side of the trip, a "moneybox" Mini accompanied by bucket-bearing collectors and complete with roof slot for donations.
And so we rest, at the tail of the pack all the way to the Cliffs of Moher where several tail off to view the cliffs. At this stage the US contingent is joining us, having flown in from Shannon to take part in Coopers and even a 200bhp Works Mini. Stereotypes of US tourists on Irish back roads are soon fulfilled as one Mini hits a parked car while another suffers two punctures.
Through Galway in the sunshine and a warm western welcome before the Minis head for Connemara and the picturesque scenery of Maam Cross. Then it's over to Westport for our first night stop.