Kilian Doylejoins Alfa addicts at the Classic Car Live show in Mondello to ogle the Italian icon, in an array of shapes and sizes
THERE ARE few car marques that can boast such a history of aesthetically exquisite machines as Alfa Romeo. Even their gloriously evocative roll-off-the-tongue names – think Giulia, Spider, Giulietta and Alfetta – put most other carmakers to shame.
It was this legacy that drew some 100 Alfas of all shapes, sizes and eras to the Classic Car Live show in Mondello last weekend, the centrepiece of which was a celebration of the brand’s 100th anniversary.
The huge turnout might have had something to do with the blazing sunshine. Brave is the owner of a classic Alfa who brings his car out in the wet. The propensity of Alfas towards dissolving at the merest splash of water like the Wicked Witch of the West is legendary.
We’ve all heard the – possibly apocryphal – tale of Alfa being fobbed off with a load of dodgy Russian steel in the late 1960s that, combined with striking Italians gleefully leaving untreated shells out in the rain, meant cars were leaving the factory with certain brown tints. Alfa’s image took a complete pasting as its cars melted before horrified owners’ eyes at the first sign of a downpour.
When the reputation for rusting was compounded by the unreliability that blighted Alfa for decades, it’s a wonder the company survived at all. But survive it did. And the current crop – the undeniably beautiful Brera and GT, the impish MiTo and the eagerly anticipated Giulietta – all look good enough to possibly usher in a return to the glory days.
So why is nobody buying them? Just 107 Alfas were sold in Ireland in the first five months of the year, according to motorcheck.ie. What can the Italians do to stop the rot?
We canvassed a range of Alfa owners – otherwise known, including by themselves, as “gluttons for punishment” – at Mondello to see if there is an answer to the firm’s woes.
Dungarvan’s Shane Houlihan reckons Alfa “made the best cars in the world in the 1930s”. And he should know, being the owner of an immaculate 1930 Alfa Romeo 8C 2300, whose name aficionados will recognise as the inspiration for the company’s recent 8C Competizione supercar. A long, sleek beast of a machine, his is one of only 188 made. One shudders to think how much it’s worth.
Houlihan and his co-driver John Boland recently brought it to compete in the historic Mille Miglia endurance race, where it behaved impeccably. “We didn’t have to lift the bonnet in the whole 1,000 miles,” he says, proudly.
He reckons the company continued to make brilliant cars right up to the 1960s, when they lost the plot. Modern Alfas he dismisses as “fat and blobby”. What they need to do is bring back the style, innovation and flamboyance that are the essence of great Italian cars, he says.
Another who rues Alfa’s decline is Colin Judge, who has a 1978 Spider. “Alfas used to make gorgeous little cars with big engines and buckets of class,” he says. “Then it all went wrong.”
Bravely, he tried owning a modern 156 estate. Despite having great curves and handling, it broke his heart. Even doing all the maintenance himself, it was costing him over €1,000 a year in spare parts alone. So he got rid of it and bought a Volvo. “From one extreme to the other,” he says with a grin.
Like many Alfaholics we spoke to, he’s hopeful the new Giulietta will see Alfa go back to doing what it does best, namely producing cars that are “light, nimble and revvy”.
Martin Cronin is standing beside his beautifully restored 1968 1750 GTV as we approach. A luscious brown, it’s the colour of Sophia Loren after a month sunning herself on the beach at Rimini. Inside, it’s as plush as her boudoir. Just sitting in it brings a red-blooded Latin glow to one’s loins.
His love for Alfas began in the 1960s, when they were “ahead of the pack” in terms of performance and innovation. Sadly, they got overtaken by the Germans and never really caught up again. In Alfa’s defence, he says that despite their cars being as reliable as an Irish summer, they always retained the ability to make good engines.
He too is encouraged that the Giulietta can resurrect the marque, but only if it is offered in rear-wheel-drive. “That’s the soul of what Alfas are really all about,” he says. So there’s your answer: If Alfa want punters to be drooling over their 21st-century wares at classic car shows in 40 years, they need to keep the curves but trim the fat. And stick the power through the back wheels. Otherwise, they’re sunk.
Of course, Classic Car Live, which is supported by Irish Vintage Scene, isn’t just about Alfas. There were over 1,000 different machines there, from regal Aston Martins to lowly Toyotas.
What differentiates the show from other static events is that owners get the option of bringing their cars out onto the track, be it for a gentle parade lap or a tyre-squealing high-speed rip for the nutters. I confess to being among the latter. The engine in my poor old Beemer is still screaming in pain. We can’t wait for next year.
