Empty houses are taking the joy out of viewing, says ISABEL MORTON
IT’S NO fun viewing property these days, now that Nama and other receivers have, in their wisdom, decided that “vacant possession” is the best way to go.
Many houses these days are not just devoid of their occupants (usually tenants) but, invariably, also devoid of furniture and possessions, and it makes for very dull viewings. There are only so many empty rooms you can view without becoming bored out of your mind.
Watching viewers’ modus operandi on viewing day in one such property, the pattern was as follows: walk into empty room, walk to window, look out (to establish where you are in the property – front, back or side), turn around to stare at four blank walls for second or two, then proceed to next empty room and start process again.
If there happens to be a particularly attractive, or indeed ugly, view from a window, then this becomes a major topic of interest. And if a room is lucky enough to be endowed with a mantelpiece of any description whatsoever, then it takes over as the focal point of conversation. Even fitted wardrobes, if there are any, will be examined in detail and the internal storage solutions debated. Sometimes, however, viewers must resort to examining the knots in the floorboards or counting the plug sockets.
And, since most of the properties being sold by receivers were decorated within the last five or 10 years, viewers don’t even have the pleasure of being able to pass comment on the garish wallpaper or hectic colour scheme, as it’s all so bland, neutral and inoffensive.
The height of viewers’ excitement is the kitchen and the bathrooms, most of which, thank goodness, are still intact and in situ. There is a natural tendency to gravitate towards these rooms, as people feel less embarrassed than when found standing staring at a blank wall elsewhere in the property.
And gardens, once manicured within an inch of their lives, now look forlorn, with unruly weeds ruining the minimalistic landscaping. But at least they provide a discreet (and echo-free) spot for whispers and gossip about the property’s previous owners and how far they have fallen from grace.
Loath though I am to admit it, I miss the days when property was “dressed to impress” and Saturday afternoons were like social events, when you were given carte blanche to snoop around other people’s magnificent homes.
Indeed, I too played the same game: furnishing and “staging” properties for sale, accessorising them down to the last detail, spending fortunes on fresh flowers and even set-dressing the contents of the fridge with the right sorts of foods to complement the “lifestyle” image.
Ridiculous as it might have been, at least it was fun and free entertainment for viewers, most of whom had no intention (nor indeed, any earthly chance) of buying these properties, but appreciated that vendors usually put on a damn good show and gave them something new to gossip about every weekend.
Unlike these days, when property viewing has become a very dreary business, geared for serious bargain hunters only, and even then not for the faint-hearted.
Recently, having viewed three entirely empty properties with a couple of prospective purchasers, I sat down for coffee and a chat with them afterwards, to review what they had seen that day. They were addled and could hardly differentiate between one property and the other; they had to be constantly reminded which house was which when going through layout possibilities.
Indeed, I’d made a point of making copious notes myself, knowing that it might be difficult later to recall details of each, but even with all my sketches and measurements, it was virtually impossible for them to grasp, so I alternated between reassuring them that certain rooms would be large enough to accommodate their super-king bed or their dining table, and disappointing them by explaining that other rooms were not half as big as they remembered.
Despite all the nonsense that went on during the property boom, vendors put in the effort in order to achieve the best possible sale price, but now that so many houses are being sold by receivers, who only appear to be concerned with getting the property off their books for whatever money they can quickly and easily recoup for the lender, good presentation is a thing of the past.
As a result, prospective buyers become confused viewing empty, soulless houses. Arguments abound over comparative room sizes and you are quite likely to witness 6ft tall men being encouraged to lie down on the floor in order to ascertain whether there would be space for a bed or a bath.
But I saw it all recently when I came across a couple who had, with a measuring tape and chalk, marked out everything on the floorboards, including partition walls, sanitary ware (for an en-suite shower room), wardrobes, bed and all other furniture, and were in the process of crawling about on all fours when I entered the room, cleaning off the chalk marks with a packet of wet-wipes.
Isabel Morton is a property consultant
