And, finally, our favourite piece of estate agents' guff:

Outstanding opportunity to acquire this spacious and luxurious bungalow which occupies circa 1.5 acres of mature landscaped gardens occupying a much envied and sought after location convenient to the village of Newtownforbes which is three miles from Longford town. This magnificent property is in excellent condition throughout. It has beautiful and charming surrounds and it is a rather special and superbly presented residence. Seldom does a property with such superb quality present itself on the open market and viewing is highly recommended.

Advertisement for a four-bedroom bungalow in Newtownforbes being sold by Brendan T Muldowney & Co.