You’d never forgive yourself if dog and baby were to get into a scrape, so what can you do?
SCOOBY HAD been the centre of the Quinlan household for six years before Nessa had her first child, Katie. Family, friends and work colleagues told them their dog would get jealous and would frighten the child. Nessa and her husband, Paul, were reluctant to part with the large collie. “We were quite worried, but we wanted our kids to grow up with a dog,” says Nessa.
Nessa and Paul sought help from Jim Stephens, a pet behaviour counsellor. Stephens says he remembers Scooby ruling the roost and being “a bit growly”. Three years on and Nessa is delighted with how everything has worked out. In the morning, the big collie sits and waits at the child gate for Katie, she says. He knows he’ll get a biscuit and get played with, and all these rewards come with the child.
“He’s more her dog than ours now.She’s calmed him down and made him playful and he has taught her to respect animals.” However, as much as I would trust him, says Nessa, they are never on their own together because he is a dog at the end of the day.
You’d never forgive yourself if dog and baby were to get into a scrape, so what can you do? Plan in advance, in a way you would for an older child, says Maureen Byrne, pet behaviour expert who has given advice to many parents.
“Prepare and make sure that the dog has very positive associations with the baby,” she says. Dogs can become frightened by novelty, so it’s helpful if the dog is bored by all baby paraphernalia way in advance. Parents can carry around a baby doll if they want to be extra prepared, says Byrne. That way it’s all old hat by the time baby arrives.
When a newborn infant arrives home, parents should allow the dog to satisfy its curiosity by sniffing the baby through the blankets and reward it with treats. As Byrne puts it: “Here’s a baby, here’s a treat, isn’t the baby lovely?” Don’t stop the dog from having a look or it may become besotted with the mystery, she advises.
“The dog can become so obsessed to see the curious bundle that it will jump up. Someone walks into the room and sees the dog with the head in the crib and thinks he is trying to kill the child.” Every interaction with the child should be supervised, controlled and turned into a positive experience.
Parents can also prepare the dog for the decreasing amount of attention over the course of the pregnancy, says Byrne. Another tip: put up barriers like child gates early, so that the pet gets use to being barred from rooms and doesn’t associate exclusion with the baby.
Stephens gave Nessa tips such as allowing Scooby a place where Katie wasn’t allowed. “If he was irritated, tired or just not in the humour, he just went to bed and he knew she wasn’t allowed out there,” she says. A dog will give off signs and try to move away from a child who is annoying it. The dog may avert it eyes, try to face away and often make a physical attempt to escape. The dog may then up the ante and growl at the child. Seeing the signs early can save the situation.
“Certain breeds or types or temperaments of dogs can be a bad mix around babies,” says Byrne. If dogs haven’t been socialised around babies or children as pups, they can be bamboozled by living with them for 24 hours a day, she says.
So are some breeds to be avoided? “People tend to race out and buy Labradors and golden retrievers, and while they are lovely dogs, they require a lot of work to get to the stage where they are very good and calm,” says Byrne, who recommends these for older families. They are big, exuberant and love everyone, but can knock you down.
Highly reactive breeds like terriers are best avoided. Terriers love children, but they do like to say goodbye to them at the end of the day, according to Byrne. “They are great for grandparents where there are kids visiting.”
Dogs such as spaniels and a lot of the gun dog breeds tend to be very patient and good with children, she adds. Indeed, biddable breeds like King Charles, Tibetan spaniel, the pug and the beagle are most suitable for young families.
Byrne says preparing a pet is a bit like preparing the first child for a new sibling. “It’s more like the dog is a furry little sister or brother than an animal that is sitting there plotting a military coup against the baby,” says Byrne.
For Nessa, the difficult phase was when Katie started crawling, because Scooby was looking down at her. They tried to keep baby and dog apart during that phase. Parents can help desensitise the pet to being handled a bit roughly by a new toddler and get it use to having its food interrupted.
Dogs will adapt so long as you make a bit of effort, says Nessa. Katie has a new baby brother, Evan, who is now five months old. “We followed the same introduction process between him and Scooby, but were far less nervous this time around.”
PET PROJECT: WHERE TO GET MORE INFORMATION
* The website irishanimals.com lists pet behavioural counsellors. The experts should belong to a reputable umbrella organisation such as the Association of Pet Dog Trainers or the Association of Pet Behaviour Counsellors, advises Maureen Byrne, who runs dogsbehavingbadly.ie.
* Emmaline Duffy-Fallon, head trainer at Citizen Canine (citizencanineireland.com), recommends the book Happy Kids, Happy Dogsby Barbara Shumannfang. It offers practical advice and training tips. The author also gives advice on topnotchdog.com.
* Raising Puppies and Kids Togetherby Pia Silvani is another book for which Duffy-Fallon gives the thumbs-up. This is for new puppy owners who have children at home.
* Duffy-Fallon herself has an advice column on ohmydog.ie
* The Blue Dog (thebluedog.org) is a website on the safe relationship between Duffy-Fallon herself has an advice column on ohmydog.ie.
CATS
Bev Truss, a pet health counsellor in Clare, says many people come to her for advice on rehoming their cat when there is a baby on the way, but there’s no need.
She stresses the life lessons a pet can offer: just by having a cat or dog in the home teaches children to be respectful of another living thing and how to care for a pet.
