PARENTING PLUS:I 'VE HAD many requests recently to comment on the topic of children and chores. I have long been a proponent of the idea that children should do chores as part of their regular participation in family life.
My beliefs about children and chores are supported by research carried out in the University of Minnesota in the US. A researcher there reviewed data from a previous longitudinal study of 84 children.
The Minnesota researcher analysed the outcomes for these (then)young adults based on their parents’ style of interacting, their intelligence and their participation in family tasks at three periods of their lives; ages three to four, nine to 10, and 15 to 16. The study also included brief phone interviews when they were in their mid-20s.
What she found was that the single best predictor for success in adult life was that they participated in household tasks at the age of three and four.
Measures of success for these young adults included completing their education or being on a path to complete their education, getting started on some type of career path, their relationships with family and friends, and whether or not they were using drugs.
This, to me, seems quite remarkable.
This finding, that it is really beneficial for children to start young when helping the family, holds true, even when many other variables, such as parenting styles, gender, types of household tasks, time spent on tasks, attitudes and motivators associated with doing the tasks and intelligence were taken into consideration.
A further study reveals that when adults, who believe that they were overindulged as a child, identify the reasons why they feel this, they place not being asked to do chores as the number one factor.
Helping the family, by participating in household tasks, teaches children responsibility, how to contribute to family life, a sense of empathy, and how to take care of themselves.
Chores, in this context, are tasks that children do, irrespective of monetary payment.
Indeed, paying children to help out can be counterproductive as chores can get caught up in the rewards and punishment “bartering” and the benefits of sharing responsibility can be lost.
I have listed some tips to help you to get your child involved in helping out:
Chores should not be too overwhelming: Be realistic and bear your child’s age in mind.
Examples of chores might include carrying dishes from the table to the sink for young children, making their bed for older children and such like.
Teach them first: Don’t forget that initially you have to teach, or demonstrate regularly, how the job should be done.
Get them involved: Involve your child in determining the tasks he or she will complete, perhaps by holding a quick meeting each week to discuss what needs to be done and who will do it.
Weekly chart: Create a weekly chore chart to remind everyone what is involved and to note when the jobs get done.
Fight the boredom: Rotate the tasks every week so that children don’t get bored or feel that they are stuck with “hard” or unpleasant jobs.
Praise them: Give lots of encouragement, praise and support for the work that gets done, bearing in mind the principle that putting in the effort is more important than the final result.
Working together: By working alongside your children you further instil the concept that everyone is working together for the good of the family.
Even though there is some effort involved for us as parents in getting our children to actively participate in household tasks, the benefits seem to me to outweigh any costs.