Orna Mulcahy on people we all know
In the dim dusty depths of The Health Nut, swaying behind the till like a reed, Sasha looks gaunt and pale and in need of a good steak ... or possibly a blood transfusion. Not that the work is particularly strenuous. One languid stretch of the arm brings her in contact with most items in the crammed little shop that's a mecca for wholefood enthusiasts, primary school teachers and the generally unwell. Remedies for anything from irritable bowel to men trouble are piled up haphazardly between the bags of ryeflour, packs of dried fruit and nuts and the bottles of murky vegetable juices. Aromatherapy oils are over there, expensive Austrian handcreams thataway, and the 100 different types of herbal tea go all the way to the ceiling. Hemp clothing is just here by the oil burners and the beeswax candles that last for about an hour; quorn sausages top shelf of the fridge, and sea salt from the Black Sea next to linseed, beyond the natural kitchen cleaners.
Everything is very expensive. While Sasha is trying to do her bit to make the world a better place, she's not going to do it at a better price, but then, as she says herself, in a low, slightly depressed voice that would send you to sleep, eat well and you don't have to eat as much, so in fact you save money. Those brick-like loaves of bread will keep for weeks if you keep them in the dark and slice them very thinly, and though those really ugly twisty carrots could set you back €5, they won't make you ill.
If you are ill, though, Sasha can help as she's a trained herbalist and has done a bit of mineralogy and iridology on the side. Sometimes, just by looking at you, she can tell that you're short of vitamins B and E or have dry scalp or a case of worms. Or could you just be feeling a bit low in yourself? That would be the toxins clogging up your system. They could be flushed out easily using totally natural products and supplements that will make you feel marvellous and keep you out of the clutches of the medical profession, who are only interested in bombarding our systems with man-made chemicals.
Sasha is very clear on all this. Which is why she has developed her own unique mix of nuts and fruits that feed the brain, the body and the emotions, and can be bought in small cellophane bags (guaranteed to rupture and spill all over the kitchen floor when you try to open them) or in jumbo sackfuls for the real believers who know it's echinacea or the highway. Browsers usually decide to give it a go, along with other useful back-of-the-cupboard staples like buckwheat and pinto beans. Naturally, they don't get a carrier bag to haul it all away, though they can, of course, pay an extra whack for a droopy cotton one.