Goldie Lookin' Chain ..
Chain gang: Awright splew? Put on yer best Chepstow and Hi-Tec Silver Shadows, stock up on Bernie Cliftons and roll up a remedy, cos Goldie Lookin' Chain are jumpin into the dragon taxi and heading down to your Dean Gaffney. They're gonna rave it up, GLC style, but watch out you don't go whitey, bra, cos you might end up running into the Shirley Bassey to do a Jimi Hendrix. Safe as fuck - you knows it. If you knows what all of the above means, then you are a clart, ie someone who knows all about Newport rap collective Goldie Lookin' Chain. Not being au fait with the unique argot of this crazy Wales posse, The Ticket has had to check the glossary on the band's official website, www.youknowsit.co.uk, which provides translations of such GLC terms as A-Team Van, Glen Hoddle, Lliswerry Tash, Valley Commando and Purple-Headed Yogurt Chucker.
Clart beat: Irish clarts flocked to see GLC when they played Oxegen last month, but the rest of us have a chance to catch up when the band release their Greatest Hits album on September 3rd. Over the past few years, the mob- handed rap collective have been building up a steady fanbase via gigs at Newport club Zanzibar, and free MP3 downloads such as Chain's Addiction, Return of the Red Eye and The Party Album. They even made a guerilla raid on the national media when a celebrity magazine printed a story that teen diva Charlotte Church was going out with one of the band and sang backing vocals on two tracks, Monkey Love and Stick It in Cider. Ms Church's lawyers have been assured that this story is not true.
Chain of command: The GLC began small, with a packet of Rizlas and a sampler, in the bedroom of P Xain aka Dwayne Xain Zedong aka Ganja Bizniz. Soon, Xain was joined by Mr Love-Eggs aka Eggsy aka Chon Benwa Balls, Adam Hussain aka Benny Blanco, and Mystikal aka Dr Boris Gobshite. If we were to list the entire line-up (aliases and all) we would be here all day, but it includes The Maggot, Mike Balls, DCI Burnside, 2-Hats and One-Step Down. Their first home- town show was supporting fellow madcap Welshmen Super Furry Animals at Newport's City Live Arena. GLC signed to Warners on St Patrick's Day and, in an incident not-at-all reminiscent of the Sex Pistols, celebrated by partying outside the Houses of Parliament, waving such provocative placards as Free Terry Waite and Weed Has Rights Too. Alas, the tabloids have so far failed to call for the band to be banned.
Taking the rap: Goldie Lookin' Chain will be jumping on the Holyhead-Dún Laoghaire ferry later this month, when they play their first Irish headliner at Dublin's Village on the 31st. In the meantime, their new single, Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do, is out today.
Kevin Courtney
