Rock stars used to make outrageous demands for their backstage needs, from cocaine to snakes. Madonna's requests for Slane display the new modesty, writes Brian Boyd.
What in the name of Keith Richards has happened to the concert rider? The list of a band's backstage requirements, from food and drink to other, less legal ingesta, used to be the stuff of rock 'n' roll excess. A typical rider included case upon case of Jack Daniels and more than one brown envelope packed with cocaine, along with assorted other pick-me-ups, most also against the law.
Any rock concert worth its salt would include a backstage area populated by a selection of nubile "band supporters" - groupies to you and me - and plenty of moustached and tattooed men with interesting scars on their faces. There would usually be a Harley-Davidson or two as well, surrounded by smoking paraphernalia that had found its way from a Moroccan souk. The general vibe was one of debauchery.
When the Red Hot Chili Peppers played at Phoenix Park earlier in the summer their demands revealed how much riders have changed. The band used to be well known for their exotic requests. This time their only requirements were mineral water, organic food, a meditation room and a selection of aromatherapy candles. About all they seem to have got up to backstage was a bout of chanting - once the yoga mats had been cleared out of the way. Their most outrageous moment may have been being with Bono when he breached the smoking ban at the Clarence hotel.
Madonna's rider for her first Irish concert, at Slane, is as minimalist as they come. Then again she never was a Courtney Love type. Her most unusual request is for the crates of water, which Kabbalah mystics claim has healing powers, having been charged with positive energy. (The singer reportedly claims that it cured her husband's verrucas.) The only sign of any rock 'n' roll traditions on her rider is a request for vodka, but it turns out that it's for removing stains from her outfits.
She does, at least, score some points for the size of her entourage: 110 people are travelling with her on this tour. Besides band members, backing singers and dancers, a small army of wardrobe people will be in there, along with the odd accountant, lawyer, nutritionist, personal trainer and, at a guess, some "spiritual-support" type and someone to carry her Pilates stretch ball.
Concert promoters are obliged to provide a certain level of backstage support, and over the years they became used to extravagant and unusual demands, from snooker tables to washing machines.
Mariah Carey will not countenance straight drinking straws backstage: all of them must be bendy. She also demands a bottle of chilled Cristal champagne and four glasses - not to mention lunch for 60 people and dinner for 100.
Christina Aguilera is sometimes said to insist on a selection of Flintstones confectionery, no matter what continent she is on at the time. In fact she's far healthier than that: her rider demands one platter of organic fruit, another of organic vegetables and a third of cooked meats - accompanied by a small bottle of Flintstones vitamins. She also refuses to use plastic cups, plates or cutlery, "due to the state of our environment".
It seems she's not always anti-pollution, however: her rider demands that the promoter arrange a police escort, as "under no circumstances" are the pop star's vehicles "to be allowed to encounter any delays due to traffic". So no Styrofoam, but the extra exhaust fumes from all those police cars are just fine.
Then there's Jennifer Lopez, who boosted her reputation as a diva by demanding 10 dressing rooms, decorated with white muslin, white flowers and white sofas, for an infamous appearance on Top Of The Pops.
At times the rider can be unnecessarily specific. On their last tour, the US rock band Jane's Addiction required a hospitality room with an "earthy, velvet/velour type atmosphere" and a tuning room with a "contemporary black leather atmosphere". Whether they received exactly what they wanted was largely down to how much money the promoter of each concert believed it would make from the performance.
Some riders take a bit of deciphering. Korn, a scary Goth-rock band, ask for fast access to a "rock friendly" lawyer, medical doctor, dentist, masseuse and/or chiropractor".
Others show up a surprising side of a band. The hard-rockers Van Halen insist their backstage celery be "trimmed but not peeled". If only they devoted the same attention to detail to the construction of their songs.
Like Aguilera, the newer breed of rock star is more likely to clean out the local health-food shop. Moby asks for vegan food (and bans smoking); Beck asks for two packs of rice crackers, a container of hummus, lots of bottled water and some plain yogurt.
Where once they had to busy themselves locating class-A drugs and exotic forms of alcohol, promoters must now spend much of their time figuring out where they can buy lemon grass and essential oils. It's been a while since Alice Cooper asked for "bottles of whiskey, some snakes and a midget", but that sort of request was manageable.
What most irritate promoters are the small but bizarre items that some bands request. Blur may still ask for "a first-aid kit, five Kinder eggs, four Duracell PP3 batteries, a selection of English cheeses, a bottle of 1950 Château Margaux and an example of a local delicacy". At least Howard Jones, the 1980s star, no longer gets the chance to request a dressing room that smelt of freshly cut grass.
Some bands don't take the rider entirely seriously. The Cork band The Frank and Walters had a reputation for driving promoters demented by asking for "a copy of The Maddies by Hannah McDonnell, sheet music for The Hunting Of The Snark and four medium-sized bricks painted green. It didn't help matters that there is no such book as The Maddies and no such author as Hannah McDonnell.
One leading UK promoter now says: "The glory days of the rider are gone. If a band put any nonsense on the contract the promoter just rips it up and gives them food and towels. A promoter organising a show doesn't have the time to go out and buy Lego sets". Or paint medium-sized bricks green.
Madonna is at Slane Castle, Co Meath, on August 29th
