Paula Gahan-Mullen, the mother of Eoghan (13), Sean (10) and Sadhbh (6), is a socalled "full-time mother in the home". Sally Martin is the so-called "working mother" of Robert (5) and Guy (2). Sally and Paula share the same top priority, the welfare and happiness of their children. For them "equal opportunities" means having the right to work, but also having the right to stay at home with their children if they want to.

Sally Martin, who works in the AIB and whose husband, Rodney, works with Spar, spends £850 a month on total childcare for her two sons in Sharavogue, Glenageary, one of the best childcare providers in the country. The fee rose by £200 a month last June when the creche had to invest in a building programme to comply with the Childcare Act, 1991.

After taxes and creche fees, Sally goes home with less than £500 of her hard-earned money a month, but she is grateful for the creche despite the cost. Previously, she had a string of disastrous nannies, one of whom put the children in front of the TV all day, paying no notice when the baby crawled perilously close to the top of the stairs. It's a scene any mother who has ever hired the wrong nanny can relate to.

"The boys are very happy in the creche and it is a wonderful place where they really nurture the children. I trust them there completely. But if I had a choice, I'd stay at home," she says. "I hope to be reducing my hours to half-days, 9 a.m. 2.30 p.m. within the next six to eight months. The boys will be in school in the morning, and I'll be with them in the afternoon, which will be ideal for us." In Sally's view: "There is absolutely no rift between women working full-time in the home and women working outside the home, except perhaps in a small minority of cases. Anyone I know who is at home relishes the opportunity and appreciates the chance to put in the time with their children," she says.

Paula Gahan-Mullen agrees: "From day one I have felt that the divide between `working mothers' and `mothers working full-time in the home' is artificial, and it's getting worse." Paula was lucky enough to start her family 13 years ago when it was still economically possible for a family to survive on a father's income. "Today that choice is not there for women any more. The choice is going out of everything in life - out of childcare, out of motherhood. This is the awfully sad part - we have a workforce of women who would love to be staying at home, if only while their children were young. And down the line, that's a recipe for disaster."

Paula is PRO, breastfeeding counsellor and lactation consultant with the Irish Childbirth Trust (like many women full-time in the home, Paula has volunteered large amounts of time and energy for unpaid voluntary work). She is in constant contact with new mothers of babies and toddlers, and in her experience nine out of 10 are under pressure to work outside the home, but would prefer to be caring for their children during the first few years of life.

"We should look to countries like France where the mothers are paid to stay in the home minding their children for the first few years," she believes.

The solution, in her view, is the same for all women: a substantial carer's allowance and a substantial children's allowance, as in Australia. The children's allowance would enable the mother who chooses to work outside the home to pay for childcare and home help. The addition of the carer's allowance, only for women full-time in the home, would enable mothers who want to work exclusively in the home to do so.

"There should be equal financial recognition by the State, whether a woman is working in the home or in paid employment outside the home. "The woman in the home is almost rated as a second-class citizen. There is this idea that she sits at home all day drinking coffee, as opposed to the reality of her being on call 24 hours a day as the housekeeper, the mother and the nurse," she says.

While Paula idealistically believes women should fight for payment for work in the home, Sally is more cynical: "Do you think there will ever be any chance of that?" We won't know until we ask.