It Is no exaggeration to say that a ray of light shines across the entire island of Ireland and will lift the hearts of all its inhabitants. - The Minister for Justice, John O'Donoghue, on the suc- cessful brokering of the all- party talks in the North

Zero tolerance is dead. - Roisin Shortall of Labour, on the apparent abandonment of zero tolerance policing by John O'Donoghue

At no stage did I ever say that judicial discretion or that policing discretion would be removed. Such an approach could not even be operated in a Stalinist regime. - Mr O'Donoghue

A waitress asked me if I was born again. So I said, "No, my mother thought once was enough." She looked horrified and ran off refusing to serve the rest of my meal. - Sir Harry Secombe

The mouse has now been caught and rehoused. - Spokesman for Claridge's Hotel, Lndon, after a mouse alarmed women enjoying pre- lunch drinks in the drawing room

Well yes, daddy, but I suppose everyone has two brains because the left side of the brain is not connected to the right cortex, is it? - Imogen Willetts, aged nine, on being told that her Tory MP father is known as David "Two Brains" Willetts

I dread the idea of Adi Roche becoming President of this country. Her style of management was Stalinist. The Project became too big for Adi and power went to her head . . . - Denis Murphy of the Concerned Group Not Supporting Adi Roche for President

Sometimes people like you, sometimes they don't. Sometimes people work out, sometimes they don't. There have been times when I've had to make tough decisions. - Ms Roche

It has shown that she is not the plaster saint many have portrayed her to be. - Ms Roche's campaign director, Ruairi Quinn, on the controversy

I have gone through a period of terrible ridicule in the media. I won't say it has been easy - it has been very hard . . . - Presidential candidate, Dana [Mrs Rosemary Scallon], speaking on British television

Better to read anything than nothing at all. Mills & Boon are not a cultural event in themselves, but superficially romantic beginnings often lead to more serious relationships. - Labour peer, Lord Hattersley

Hitler was absolutely convinced that if King Edward VIII had remained on the throne, there would have been no differences - and no war - between England and Germany. - Herbert Doehring, now 84, who ran the Fuehrer's mountain retreat in Bavaria

It's great to be back. Are we really here? We've been working for four years to come. - Bono, after U2 arrived in Sarajevo last Tuesday to play a concert

We are sorry if we have offended Irish people and we had no wish to misrepresent them. - A BBC statement regretting its portrayal of Ireland in last Monday's episode of Eastenders

I am very much afraid, dear, that he might be a stopgap. - Remark attributed to Baroness Thatcher about William Hague's leadership of the Conservative Party

If I had my time again I would like to take up archaeology. - Former Rolling Stone Bill Wyman

Sex addict: it means someone who is incredibly focused all day on going from sex outlet to sex outlet, like a chimpanzee going from tree to tree. Like all other addictions, it fills a vacuum at the centre. - Dick Morris, who quit as Bill Clinton's spin doctor after disclosure of involvement with a call girl