Broken engagements are surprisingly common. But after the trauma of a break-up, what happens to the ring? No longer is it always returned to the man, reports Berna Cox.

Every year, thousands of couples engage in the business of engagement. The question is popped, the ring flashed and the wedding machine cranks up into overdrive. Whether it's to be the traditional "bit of a do" in the local hotel or a beach party bash in Barbados with the bridal march played on a steel drum, the engagement sets the wheels in motion. At the end of the process, two little words seal the union. The "I will" at the time of engagement progresses finally to "I do".

But for some, the "I do" never happens. Somewhere along the way, doubts creep in, much agonising is done and one or other party calls a halt.

Hearts are broken, dresses are returned, churches, registry offices and hotels are cancelled. Some break-ups are acrimonious; others are amicable and bittersweet. Some engender genuine sadness and heartache; others cause a large sigh of relief all round.

Whatever the circumstances of the break-up, one particular item remains to be dealt with. The engagement ring. Who owns it? Who wants it? What happens next? Traditionally, engagement rings were given by the man to the woman in contemplation and expectation of marriage and, if things didn't work out, they were returned. Nowadays, it's not that clear cut.

Legal opinion suggests that the old-fashioned breach of promise laws are just that - old-fashioned. The dynamics of courtship and engagement are so different in modern times that any court would be hard-pressed to pronounce according to the letter of the law.

Modern relationships introduce factors that the old law didn't legislate for. Some couples, for instance, jointly purchase the ring. How do they decide who keeps it? In certain American states, if the man breaks off the engagement, the woman keeps the ring. What happens here?

John Weldon is an auctioneer of silver and fine art on Cow's Lane, Temple Bar in Dublin and one of two main auctioneers in the country who deals with second-hand jewellery. In any week, says Weldon, between 10 and 15 women will come through his doors inquiring about selling engagement rings at his monthly auctions. Freshly disengaged couples, he reckons, seem to work it out between them as to who keeps the ring, and his experience would indicate that it's mostly the woman. Some of them, he says, are very open and businesslike about the transaction. Others, though, get quite upset. There's always a box of tissues strategically placed, says Weldon.

Some women are accompanied by their mothers who drive the transaction and chivvy their daughter into placing the ring for auction. All of them, he says, are looking for closure.

"The money," says Weldon, "really doesn't seem to be the issue." Jewellery sold at auction will almost never realise the retail price, but that doesn't seem to matter.

"They really just want closure," he says. "There's a finality attached to selling the ring. They can move on." Weldon himself is empathetic - his own engagement fell through last year but, in more traditional style, the ring was returned to him.

"It used to be a rarity," he adds, "to have men coming in with engagement rings."

Now, he says, that's starting to change. The most recent item to be added to the catalogue for his auction today is a .73 carat diamond set in platinum with two smaller baguette diamonds flanking the solitaire. The total carat weight is .93. A man brought it in complete with its original box and insurance details with instructions to put it in the next auction. Weldon estimates that the ring cost in the region of 5,000 in the jeweller's shop and will fetch somewhere between 2,000 and 3,000 at auction.

Closure, it seems, can cost. On the other hand, someone else's closure can represent good value for those contemplating a bit of romantic question-popping.

Weldon's auction today will have about 50 engagement rings in the catalogue, ranging in value from €100 to 25,000. Those rings represent just one month of callers to the auction house. Occasionally, the vendor will attend the auction to watch what might have been go under the hammer. Most opt not to.

Their closure comes with a cheque in the post.

* The jewellery, silver and fine art auction is at 2pm today (viewing 10.30am to 1pm) at John Weldon Auctioneers, Cow's Lane, Temple Bar, Dublin 8. For details tel 01 6351114 or see www.johnweldonauctioneers.com