This puzzling film concerns events surrounding the Fall of the Roman Empire and stars such assorted luminaries as Colin Firth, Ben Kingsley, Peter Mullan and that big-eyed child from Nanny McPhee.
The Last Legion **
Directed by Doug Lefler. Starring Colin Firth, Ben Kingsley, Aishwarya Rai, Peter Mullan, Rupert Friend, Thomas Sangster, Kevin McKidd, John Hannah, Iain Glen 12A cert, gen release, 110 min
Actually, forget all that. The names worth noting in the credits belong to Dino De Laurentiis, producer of expensive schlock since the 16th century, and Doug Lefler, sometime director of Xena: Warrior Princess.
Though The Last Legion makes occasional, misguided attempts at explaining the arrival of the Dark Ages, nobody is likely to mistake it for an episode of Sir Kenneth Clark's Civilisation. The picture showcases the aftermath of a terrible collision between De Laurentiis's habitually accidental camp and Xena's more knowing medieval flamboyance. If only it were as much fun as that suggests.
We begin with the Barbarians advancing on Rome. Following a great deal of bellowing and some agreeable biffing with clubs and battleaxes, Romulus Augustulus (Thomas Sangster), the young emperor, is spirited away to a remote island and Mullan's rubicund Goth slumps onto his throne. Firth's loyal Roman then joins forces with Kingsley's shaman and a female martial artist played by Aishwarya Rai, the Bollywood sensation. The unlikely trio rescue Caesar jnr and set out for Britain with the intention of marshalling a last legion against the new regime.
No picture with this many battles and this much outrageous dialogue could possibly be boring. Sure enough, The Last Legion offers plenty to distract the tolerant viewer. Indeed, the scene where Kingsley calmly discusses philosophy while suspended over the Mediterranean by his wrists justifies the entrance fee alone.
But the film-makers' irrepressible desire to take themselves seriously does eventually overpower the admirable silliness and leads the pictures towards pomposity and self-importance. When it's trying to be Asterix it works just fine. When it's trying to be Spartacus it falls flat on its face.
