REVIEWED - BEWITCHED: A hundred ideas, none of them good, in this awful remake of an ancient sitcom

The usual accusation levelled against stupid adaptations of Tudor-era sitcoms is that they don't have a single idea in their supposed heads. Nora Ephron's Bewitched, which manages the not unimpressive task of lowering the reputation of an already debased film-making genre, is, by contrast, coming down with ideas. Sadly, they are all bad.

Attempting, presumably, some jokes at its own expense, the film follows the progress of a new production of the 40-year-old series about a chic witch and her befuddled husband. Will Ferrell, unconvincing as a movie star despite actually being one, stars as a pompous has-been forced to return to TV after several failed films.

Eager to hog the limelight, he insists that some unknown, capable only of wiggling her nose like Elizabeth Montgomery in the original show, be cast as his spooky wife. Isabel (Nicole Kidman), new in town, apparently clueless, seems ideal. But she is in fact a real witch. What larks. Nicole Kidman - or the shiny carapace that actress left us with some years ago - is, of course, ideally cast as an otherworldly creature, apparently disconnected from all those who surround her. The problem is, it is hard to believe anybody would mistake her for a human being, even in Los Angeles.

Around her glazed head a hundred poorly conceived high concepts fail to set in. Shirley MacLaine is underused in the old Agnes Moorhead role. Michael Caine fails to retain his dignity as Isabel's father. When will they get around to playing Every Little Thing She Does is Magic at us? Not until the closing credits, surprisingly.