At this time of year many shoppers display a certain distracted air that can be identified as stocking filler's twitch - every bit of nonsense, every small toy and every piece of tat suddenly takes on new possiblities as the perfect small Christmas present to fill that perfectly small bit of space. How does Santa Claus do it so effortlessly, one wonders?
Small presents are indispensible at Christmas. No matter what age you're buying for, be it Tiny Tim or Aged Aunt, everybody loves a clutter of small bits of nonsense. Luckily, there's a lot of them about if you keep your eyes peeled, stick to the right shops and make like one of Santa's elves. Here's a round-up of some of the best.
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This jar of strawberry jam looks good enough to sit in any foodie snob's larder - tres francais, tres chic and all the rest. Except this jam jar is a tub of shower gel and it's part of the brilliant Star range of bath products that pass themselves off as groceries - how about a half pound of bath butter for Auntie Flo? Jam gel, £7.95, Foko, South Great Georges Street, Dublin.
Wouldn't it be great if you could make everybody sag at the knees as easily as this wooden marionette? Push the right button and he's putty in your hands. Absolut puppet, £5.95, Foko.
Princess Leia bedamned - for outright glamour, you've got to hand it to Star Wars's Queen Amidala.Yves St Laurent has created a range inspired by Luke Skywalker's mum, called Love 2000, which has the most gorgeous shiny red packaging. Starlit Crimson nail laquer by YSL, £15, major department stores and selected chemists nationwide.
How brilliant is this? A letter opener that doubles up as a device for weighing envelopes and figuring out the postage - it just has to be made in Scandanavia. The award-winning Epistola by Swedish firm Simplicitas, £18, Inreda, Lower Camden Street, Dublin.
We don't want to be encouraging violence in the young but we just couldn't resist this old-fashioned potato gun. One spud will yield 300 totally harmless pellets which can be fired at targets up to 50 feet away. Spud gun, £2.99, Pad, Lower Stephen's Street, Dublin.
For party princesses aged seven to 70, this season's essential accessory is this terribly high-class ring - one touch sets it flashing green and pink for 15 seconds. Blinking magic ring, £1, Asha, St Stephen's Green Shopping Centre, Dublin.
If there's a Carmen Miranda, an Ophelia or an Ermintrude in your life, treat them to this glorious rose barette, £7, Oasis, branches nationwide.
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We all know by now that you should never give a pet for Christmas but perhaps this spratshaped biro wouldn't count? Fish pen, £3.99, Pad.
Pot pourri has come a long way since the days of sandalwood and wood shavings - this silk pouche of pot pourri from Paris firm, L'Artisan Parfumeur is tied up with the most edible-looking blackberries, smells divine and is quite the most Christmasy thing around. Blackberry Feast pot pourri by L'Artisan, £17.50, Blue Eriu, South William Street, Dublin.
If your gift budget is the equivalent of the sixth round of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, then you could opt for the trademark leafy suede skirt from Prada (a snip at £815). If it's more like the sixth round of Quicksilver, then this dinky coin purse might be a better option. Suede leaf purse, £5, Oasis, branches nationwide.
The packaging of this heartshaped pot scrub sends out slightly conflicting messages - would someone you know be a good recipient of either "the cleanest, brightest and purest heart" or the "scrubber heart"? Heart-shaped sponge, £1.95, Foko.
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Saying it with flowers is definitely passe. Saying it with a pencil case is definitely more contemporary - for the cheeky monkey in your life, this sparkly number by the clubber's favourite, Paul Frank, should get the message across. Pencil case, £21, Cuba, Trinity Street, Dublin.
No matter how many brands of lurid-coloured toothpaste they introduce, it can still be an uphill battle combining children, toothbrushs and bathrooms in a constructive relationship. This soft latex frog which sits on the top of a toothbrush might just improve the logistics somewhat. Frog toothbrush, £4.50, Showco, Georges Street Arcade, Dublin.
In the torch world, the Maglite is the Rolls Royce or, more accurately, the Boeing: aeronautic engineering is used to make this top-of-the-range torch. This cheery red key-ring version is the smallest in the range. Mini Maglite, £11.49, Fox's, Grafton Street, Dublin.
Why settle for one star this Christmas when you could get a whole tree-full of them instead. This tree-shaped box holds a small cache of jewel-coloured bath pearls and can be suspended from your big tree as a decoration too. Bath pearls, £4.50, Goodbodies, St Stephen's Green shopping centre and branches around the country.
If you're going to send a little rubber ducky into active combat at bath time, shouldn't he be armed with the best diving equipment? Rubber duck, £2.99, Pad, Dublin.
Everybody will be cracking open the bubbly come December 31st but if you're tee-total, underage or too trendy for words, you could always go for these soap bubbles instead. Bubbles, £1.99, Pad, Dublin.
There's something about this guinea pig key-ring that's ever-so-slightly sadistic - pull on its tail and it shakes and jumps like a mouse with St Vitus dance. Still, none of the children we asked seemed to find it anything other than hilarious. Guinea pig, £2.99, Robinson's Trading Company, Wexford Street, Dublin.
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Bags of chocolate coins often crop up at Christmas time. As this year is bigger than most, it's only natural that the coins have got bigger too. Millennium coin, 32p, Marks & Spencer, branches nationwide.
There's enough to worry about with all the Y2K hoo-hah, so you might as well cut down on the possibilities for bad luck. This credit card-sized "mirror" is made from highly-polished stainless steel - as the makers, Simplicitas say: "Throw it against the wall, bend it or sing opera to it. The risk of seven years bad luck is non-existent." Veritas mirror, £18, Inreda, Dublin.
Cufflinks are not the most exciting of presents, but these ones by Paul Smith have a naughty twist that sets them apart. Flick them one way and the 1950s starlet is fully clothed, flick the other way and her bikini mysteriously disappears. Paul Smith cufflinks, £35, Alias Tom, Duke House, Hibernian Way, Dublin.
These are a rather pricey stocking filler but they do come with an extra non-mirrored set of lenses and they're cheaper than a Prada suit. Prada sunglasses, £110, Alias Tom, Dublin.
This 1940s bejewelled strawberry brooch by Weiss is just too cute for words. Mind you, at £195 it would want to be - check out Accessorise or charity shops for cheap imitations. Strawberry brooch, Rhinestones, St Andrew's Street, Dublin.
"When it's spring again, I'll bring again, tulips from Amsterdam," says the song. Why wait for spring? Why go to Amsterdam? Scoop this tulip biro, £2.99, Pad, Dublin, instead.
