Wednesday, June 25th, 2008:We have the whole infertile Irish Catholic thing, which lets face it, is an absolute disgrace, even the priests back home have kids.

Monday, June 30th, 2008

With Cycle 15 due to come to an end (or not) at some stage this week, we were hoping for one of those funny stories folk tell where we could say we went to a fertility expert only for him to announce we were up the duff.

Kind of an “oh we’ve just adopted a bucketful of Chinese babies and now she’s preggers” type thing.

Well, guess what? Thats not happening.

Cycle 15 has left the building in such a hurry she forgot her purse.

Friday, December 19th, 2008

We’ve all heard of funny stories about men having sympathetic pregnancies.

This is of course, where they display similar symptoms as their partners. Well, I don’t know why I should be surprised, but I believe I’ve taken this sympathetic symptom thing to a whole new extreme.

I believe I am suffering from a sympathetic ovulation.

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

“Romance isn’t dead, it has the flu”.

Ladies, you haven’t known true pleasure until youve been clambered upon by a fever-laden sweaty man, wheezing upon every thrust of passion.

You haven’t been caressed in every way that a woman should, until youve felt the tickle and trickle from a runny nose on the nape of your neck.

Never before have you heard a true groan of pleasure until youve heard your man collapse beside you grasping his own aching flu ridden hips.

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

Our house is full of “stuff”, but it’s horribly empty. Music, games, and movies could deafen you in any room over three floors, but it’s still eerily silent.

Silence that’s amplified when you stand on the spiral stairs and listen to the Saturday morning screeches and giggles from next door.

We have spare bedrooms living lives disguised as offices, storage space, giant walk-in wardrobes, or dressing rooms. Not as they were intended, just bedrooms.

I don’t know if it’s possible to feel any stupider than you do when you realise the clichés were true all along, and the joke is on you. “The best things in life are free” or “Money can’t buy you happiness”.

Cheesy, overused, and scoffed at, but stomach-sinking true. Yes, we f***ing get it.

We have everything, all adding up to nothing.

Yesterday was [my wife] ET’s birthday and there was nothing I could give her.

– These edited extracts are from

Martin Fitzgerald’s blog xbox4nappyrash.blogspot.com