Little Miss Muffet/Sat On A Tuffet/Eating Her Curds And Whey/Along Came A Spider/Who Sat Down Beside Her/And Said: "What are you doing wearing those ridiculous, old-fashioned clothes?

"Don't you know these are the 1990s, girl? You just tell your mother to stop dressing you up to look like an extra from The Sound of Music and ask for some trainers and T-shirts instead." And who are we to argue with that?