DRIVING APHRODITEDirected by Donald Petrie. Starring Nia Vardalos, Richard Dreyfuss, Alexis Georgolis, Alistair McGowan, Harland Williams, Rachel Dratch 12A cert, gen release, 95 mins

IT'S HARD NOT to feel bad for Nia Vardalos, insofar as one can feel bad for Hollywood actors who pal around with Tom Hanks. Her breakthrough film, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, proved that a good-natured, gentle comedy starring a relatively plain actress could triumph at the box office. But her subsequent failed sitcom and movies suggest that there might be no room at the Hollywood party for her.

As Driving Aphroditebegins with a jaunty mandolin score, Georgia (Vardalos) explains how she lost her job as a history lecturer and had to settle for unhappily working as a tour guide in Greece. Competing with an obnoxious local guide Nico (Alistair McGowan, in an amusing Tom Conti-style turn), Georgia also has to contend with a seemingly dozy, hirsute driver (Alexis Georolis) and obnoxious tourists.

Director Donald Petrie, who also made Miss Congeniality, has no time for subtlety. The jokes in Driving Aphroditeare older than democracy and broad strokes are everywhere, especially in the portrayal of the tourists: chunky Americans carry large maps and wear stars and stripes; snobby Brits struggle to smile; scruffy Australians are constantly half-ripped on Fosters; and sexy Spaniards suck on ice cream suggestively.

Even the back-screen scenery projection on the bus journeys is slapdash. It also doesn’t help that the film smells badly of post- production tinkering at the request of a test audience.

Will the lonely Georgia find love and happiness on this trip? Will her slimy nemesis meet his come- uppance? Will an obnoxious aging sightseer (nicely played by Richard Dreyfus) show a softer side? If you honestly don't know the answers to these questions, then Driving Aphroditemight be for you. Others should avoid it like stale feta.