Ailbhe Maloneinvites you to take pictures of her while she's eating

** TRACK OF THE WEEK: Insatiableby Nadine Coyle. When Nadine holed up in LA, pleading that she was "working" with "session musicians", we laughed. When she announced she was going to distribute her new album solely through Tesco, we laughed. When she dropped Insatiable, we didn't know what to do. This is a massive tune, written and recorded by Nadine in her London flat, which allows her to really let rip without having to worry about four other harmonising voices. In other words, it's amazing.

** Posh is on Twitter! We die! Up until recently her tweets were fairly prosaic, focusing on promoting her runway collection, and signing off with nauseating self-help phrases such as “in love and light”. Thankfully though, Posh has come up with the goods by tweeting not only a picture of her dog, but a picture of her dog with red painted toenails. It’s all we could have ever hoped for from La Beckham, and so much more.

** Following on from last week’s Retirement Plans of the Stars, Katy Perry feels she has to have her say.

“I want to do something quintessentially British, like buy a big farmhouse and have our children running around in the fresh air,” says Katy. “I would expect Russell to be up milking the cows and collecting eggs from the chickens while I run the farm shop and bake pies.” Perry’s Pies certainly has a ring to it.

** We’re always pleased when pop stars make friends with each other, and we’re always even more pleased when they give each other birthday presents. So, when it was Beyoncé’s birthday last week, naturally her pal Gaga gave her a gift. Of a diamond-studded whip. Terribly practical, really.

** Teen hearts, take note. Justin Bieber has released protocol on how he wishes to be wooed. Ever the charmer, he warns, “Don’t come up to me while I’m eating. How would you like it if I came into your house and started taking pictures of you while you were eating? I hate that.” Girls, he’s all yours.