'It's nightmarish, that's the only word for it. I'm living the worst-case scenario.'

'Family home? Gone. BMW? Gone. Rugby trips away? Gone. Meals out? Gone. Investment planning? Gone. I was planning to retire at 50. I can forget that now. My legal bills have reached €15,000 and they'll be €30,000 by the time this is over. The bank have stopped my overdraft facility due to the uncertainty of my marital and legal situation. At a time when you need serious co-operation, the bank have done the opposite."

What could any 45-year-old father of two have done to deserve that? In Conor's case, nothing that he can think of. And he has spent many a sleepless night thinking about it. A devoted family man and the sole breadwinner, he supported his wife in some luxury in a million-euro house outside Dublin, that had all the trappings. His work for a multinational took him abroad two weeks out of every month, but the pay was generous and his family had all the material things they could wish for.

He came home exhausted from a particularly harrowing business trip in the Middle East a year ago to hear his younger wife tell him that she had met somebody else.

Conor, who says he has never been unfaithful because he would never sacrifice his marriage for an affair, was so shocked that for several months he believed that his wife was going through a phase and that counselling and forgiveness could sort them out. When his wife refused to co-operate and moved to her mother's, he suggested mediation so that they could negotiate financial arrangements without involving expensive lawyers.

Then, while he was abroad working, his wife moved back into the house and Conor was greeted on his return by a text message from his lawyer, telling him not to go near the house because his wife was threatening to get a barring order. Determined to go the legal route, his wife is now demanding - through lawyers - 75 per cent of their joint property. The customary split is for the partner who is the sole breadwinner to get two-thirds, while the partner working full-time in the home gets one-third plus maintenance. Conor's wife refused his offer of 50/50.

"Without my children, I wouldn't have the will to keep going," says Conor, who is living in rented accommodation because the bank has refused to allow him to use the family home as collateral on a second mortgage.

Conor spends time with his two children on weekends and school holidays while his ex-wife spends time with her new lover. He is extremely concerned for his children's well-being and watches them for signs of reacting badly to the separation.

Meanwhile, he's starting up his own business so that he can be near the children and have a means of footing the bill for what is turning out to be a very expensive divorce.

He now has to pay for two residences, two cars, two sets of utility bills and so on. "It's horrendous. Getting on with maintaining financial stability is difficult enough in a normal marriage situation. You try to put something aside for the future, then your wife meets somebody else and it all goes out the window. I'm a nobody now. I'm just a provider," Conor says.