I SEE the London Times has a new competition, offering readers the chance to win an "adventure" holiday for two every year for life.

The initial prize is a 17 day adventure in the border region of Thailand, Burma and Laos, including a two day crossing of the river Kwai on a raft houseboat, a three day trek through jungle and hill villages, visits to ancient ruins, a sleeper train to Chiang Mai, a visit to a night market and an elephant trek.

It seems unfair that the only readers denied the opportunity of failing to win this prize are employees of Times Newspapers and the sponsoring travel company. Everyone else must live in terror until the winner is announced.

All right. This business of nick names is odd. I read the other day of the passing of one James Burke, at the age of 64.

According to the obituaries, Mr Burke was apparently better known (though not by me) as "Jimmy the Gent" - because of his dapper and charming manner.

Jimmy was also famous for his psychopathic temper when crossed, yet did not become known as Jimmy the Psycho. This is one of the many mysteries of nicknames.

You will have guessed that despite his reported manner, Jimmy lived and died on the wrong side of the law. He was in fact a quite notorious US gangster in all the usual areas of gambling, bookmaking, prostitution, loan sharking, extortion and murder.

I need hardly tell you he was also a colourful character. You will have worked that out (for yourself). By the way, please respect obituarese in the matter of eminent criminals and refer if you must not to his criminal activities but his exploits.

If James Burke had been a respected academic or hospital consultant, the appellation "gent" would have no (intrinsic) meaning. "Jimmy the Gent" Burke, PhD or FRCSI is oddly implausible.

The billionaire shipowner Stavros Niarchos, who also died recently, was not known as Stavvy the Greek, though he was even more successful than Jimmy the Gent, had a similarly dapper appearance and charming manner, and was accused (by the public prosecutor in Piraeus) of causing the death of Eugenia, the longest lasting of his five wives.

While Jimmy the Gent got about 30 inches of obituary coverage, on the same day Jose Luis Lopez Arangure, distinguished philosopher, got a line, as did spitfire pilot Johnnie Houlton, credited with shooting down the first German plane on D Day, and the late Sister Mary Peter Doyle, credited with shooting down the second - beg pardon, actually she was the oldest Sister of Mercy in the world at 109 years.

That is the way things go, or don't.

Patriotic considerations, however, evoke pleasure at Jimmy being given proper obituary recognition. While he became an associate of the Lucchese crime family in New York, the fact of his being Irish meant exclusion from the top Mafia ranks. So he set up his own gang.

It was not now enough to be Jimmy the Gent: he also became known as the "Irish Godfather."

It may well be that such nicknames drove him to a life of crime. Two nicknames might well drive anyone in that direction.

Still, I could forgive Jimmy the Gent a great deal (if anyone were to ask me) for the naming of two sons as Frank James (Burke) and Jesse James (Burke), after the "famous Wild West outlaws. You, may be pleased to know that while Frank was killed a few years back in a shoot out, Jesse remains alive and well, and apparently enjoys a quiet life.

Neither of them were nicknamed "The Gent". Nicknames are rarely if ever passed on in a family.

I was sorry also to read of the death of Arnold "Rolodex" Neustadter. Well, he wasn't actually nicknamed Rolodex. But he did invent the yoke, along with the Autodex, the Swivodex and the Clipodex. And he made an enormous fortune from such inventions, though enthusiasts will be disappointed that the largest in the Rolodex range, the 6,000 card, three wheel Torque A Matic, has been discontinued.

You may imagine Arnold must have been a disorganised person in order to come up with the Rolodex idea. In fact his son in law called him the most organised man I ever knew.

Arnold, the essence of order in office and the home, kept a clean desk, avoided use of the telephone, married his secretary and always came to the point. In short, the inventor of the Rolodex was possibly the one man who would never have needed one. This should be of interest to the entrepreneur, the financial buccaneer, the self starter, anyone with initiative in this disorganised world.