Directed by Scott Stewart. Starring Paul Bettany, Karl Urban, Cam Gigandet, Brad Dourif, Maggie Q, Christopher Plummer, Mädchen Amick, Lily Collins 15A cert, gen release, 88 min

IN AN alternate CGI universe, humans and vampires have been at war for centuries. A standard- issue anime prologue tells of an elite group of warrior priests sent to rid the world of their bloodsucking foes. Their triumph over evil ensures that human survivors live in great walled cities under the menacing gaze of the Church while their undead enemies are kept in remote reservations.

The Church, as personified by Christopher Plummer in ghoulish make-up, insists the security arrangements are adequate. Priest (why Paul Bettany, why?) begs to differ. When a vampire attack leaves his brother dead and his niece presumed kidnapped, the former bat-whacker defies his Orwellian overlord, packs up his ninja star crucifixes and comes out of retirement.

Bettany is assisted in his endeavours by fellow slayer Maggie Q. Cam Gigandet, playing the missing girl's boyfriend, makes up the numbers required for an infuriating allusion to The Searchers.

The screenplay for Priest, inspired by Hyung Min-woo's cult comic series, has been kicking around Hollywood for five years and, by golly, it shows. The special effects are shallow and hokey. The final cut feels compromised and scissored. The 3D conversion – a fix-up that knocked the film's release back nine months – darkens a picture already straining with shadows.

Supremely bad timing further undermines this misshapen conglomerate of western iconography, Giger Alienclones and tedious vampirology. Five years ago, this attempt to translate the original manhwa's angular monochrome into cinema might not have resembled every other film. Five years ago, we weren't quite so accustomed to vampire movies.

However, post- Twilight, post- Blood, post- Vampires Suck, it's hard to get excited when the cave-dwelling albino vamps screech into view.

We wouldn't mind the repetition or the nods to Beneath the Planet of the Apesif Priestwas any fun. Like Legion, the last collaboration between Bettany and director Scott Stewart, the film never transcends its cold blue screen origins. The troglodytes onscreen likely have a livelier pulse.