In this week’s drunk celebrity news, both Gérard Depardieu and (you’re way ahead of me) Lindsay Lohan are in trouble with the law. Ms Lohan was arrested after allegedly thumping a woman in a New York club at four in the morning. The crisis surrounding Lindsay is beginning to take on tragic dimensions. Gérard’s exploits,conversely, lean towards the comic. The French actor was briefly detained after falling off his scooter while driving under the influence. He really does add to the gaiety of nations.