"Mission: Impossible" (12s) Savoy, Screen at D'Olier Steet, Virgin, Omniplex, UCIs, Dublin.
Hollywood's lucrative policy of recycling old television series for the cinema continues with one of the most expensive big screen blow ups to date, in Mission: Impossible. The formula is founded on stoking up a phoney nostalgia for mildly diverting and mostly forgettable old series, ideally from the 1960s, in order to lure a cinema audience that spins all age groups from Baby Boomers downwards, and to package it with a few stars and, if at all possible, hi tech special effects.
The none too memorable Mission: Impossible series, which ran from 1966 to 1973, is perfectly suited for such a formulaic expansion, even if most of the TV trappings and characters have been jettisoned in favour of moulding the movie primarily as a star vehicle for Tom Cruise, who also happened to produce it.
Wisely, Cruise and his coproducer, Paula Wagner, have retained the most distinctive feature of the TV series Lalo Schifrin's thumping signature tune, here sampled and further energised by Larry Mullen and Adam Clayton.
Little else remains, beyond such devices as disguises and the familiar self destructing tape proposing missions, should agents choose to accept them. What's new is a convoluted screenplay on the theme of international espionage, sabotage and duplicity, and it's hard to credit that it took three of Hollywood's leading screenwriters David Koepp, Robert Towne and Steven Zaillian to concoct something so consistently incoherent.
It is absolutely not teasingly enigmatic in the way Pulp Fiction or The Usual Suspects were, and it's very hard to imagine many people sitting around afterwards trying to puzzle this one out.
Fortunately, the movie is directed by Brian De Palma in director for hire mode now that his days as an auteur are a distant memory, De Palma piles on the style to camouflage the shortage of substance and he maximises the picture's lavish technological resources. There is a beginning, middle and end to De Palma's Mission Impossible, and each one is a dazzling set piece.
The central and most impressive sequence specifically recalls Jules Dassin's exotic crime caper, Topkapi. It is set in the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia, as Tom Cruise in a body harness is suspended in mid air for the daring theft of a top secret computer disk from a gleamingly white and ultra sensitive vault that resembles a set from 2001. The finale is an action packed, high speed chase inside and on top of Le Shuttle, as it zooms through the Channel Tunnel.
Technically the movie is accomplished, particularly in its lighting, production design and editing. The actors fare substantially less well. Cruise, who is in virtually every scene, looks tanned and muscular in a "tailor made role which is only demanding physically - clearly performing quite a few of his own stunts, he exhibits his agility in a number of scenes.
Carving the ham in thick slices and with tongue firmly in cheek, Vanessa Redgrave enlivens the movie when she appears, but the rest of the international cast register as little more than ciphers: Jon Voight, Jean Reno, Ving Rhames, Henry Czerny, an un-credited Emilio Estevez, and Emmanuelle Beart, who is reduced to part of the set decoration.
"Muppet Treasure Island" (General) Savoy, Virgin, Omniplex, UCIs, Dublin
After their successful version of A Christmas Carol, the Muppet machine takes on another 19th century classic with this version of Robert Louis Stevenson's piratical tale. Although it's not quite as entertaining as the previous film, there's still plenty of fun to be had from this story of devilry and adventure on the high seas.
Most of the star performances are from lumps of brightly coloured cloth, but Tim Curry makes an admirable fist of Long John Silver, newcomer Kevin Bishop is fine as Jim Hawkins, and Billy Connolly dominates the first ten minutes as Billy Bones.
All the megastars - Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear et al - are here, although this reviewer found himself wondering if the younger viewer would have any notion who they were. Given the fact that a lot of the gags depend on some previous knowledge of Muppet lore, the humour may appeal more to adult members of the audience.
One shouldn't carp too much, however - compared to a lot of the rubbish foisted on children by the Hollywood studios. Muppet Treasure Island is a bright and funny tale, with energetic musical numbers that have a lot more oomph than the dreary songs in Disney's recent offerings.
