You’ve got to love Russell Crowe. Actually, you don’t have to do anything of the sort. But you do have to admire his ability to generate unintentionally hilarious news stories.

Last week, the beery Aussie-Kiwi crossbreed, annoyed at unkind comments written by a female journalist, challenged the startled woman to a bike race. The gossip columnist, one Annette Sharp, claimed that Crowe had paused for a fag and a taco during a cycle ride with his personal trainer. “Smokes and fatty foods the fitness regime for Rusty,” the headline read.

Sharp accepted the challenge, but, to the surprise of nobody, Crowe failed to be a gent and let her win. The actor was, however, generous about Sharp’s efforts and declared her “twice the man” that Baz Luhrmann is. What can he mean?