Like most of us, I expect you spend a lot of time planning your annual holiday - where to go, when to go, who to go with, what to do. And then there's the discussion about where to stay, how to travel, how much to budget for and so on. The list of considerations seems endless and plays a large part in determining how you spend your time away. Well, life coach Gerry O'Donovan has a further question for you. How much time do you spend planning where you want to go on a far more crucial journey, somewhere you don't get a chance to revisit if things didn't work out the way you'd hoped? How much time do you spend mapping out where you want to go in your life?
"The answer from most people if you asked them this would be something like `what do you mean?', which is a terrible admission," he says. "This is a waste of opportunity and of your time here. Our techniques are based on the world of Olympic sports and if you asked one of those gold medallists how they got to where they are, they would probably cite their talent, their determination . . . and their coach. Well, coaches can make you a medallist in life too."
O'Donovan is certainly qualified by his life experiences to start guiding others. Now 42, the former British Royal Marine from Bantry, Co Cork, has made a million and lost a million twice already in his business life. His previous business ventures were in financial services and property, and he's already doing well in his fourth chosen profession, life coaching. Life coaching, which originated in the US, is a kind of careers advice service for adults. In theory, it works a bit like its sporting counterpart. The coach will work out your goals with you, help you formulate a plan of action, encourage you to make progress and niggle you when you fall behind. However, instead of aiming for Olympic gold - although you could try that if you were so inclined - the goals of most people are likely to be something on the lines of starting their own business, buying a house abroad, getting a promotion at work or even being a better parent. Such help does not come cheap. The Life Coaching Academy, where O'Donovan works, trains coaches who will later charge up to £250 for four 40minute chats with their clients. Other coaches charge more. But despite the expense, it is a service that is growing in popularity across Britain and Ireland. In the UK, there are now around 600 practising life coaches. So what's the appeal? Most of us, if we're facing a dilemma in our lives, call up a friend for a chat, chew the fat over a pint in the pub, or take a few minutes to talk with our partner after the children are in bed. Surely that's all that these people are charging for, isn't it?
The fast-talking O'Donovan has the answer. "You should be able to tell your loved ones your innermost goals. But even the closest people to you, the people who love you and want the very best for you, will have their own agendas - but the professional doesn't. Our aim is to look at you today, look at where you want to go, and work shoulder to shoulder to get you there. "I say I work in gap analysis. I analyse the gap between where you are and where you want to be, and help you to close it."
To find out whether this was a bit of fast sales talk pitched at those vulnerable to that kind of thing or an attempt to address a real social need, I attended one of the academy's training courses in England.
The first task of a life coach is to listen. Listening, I learnt, is a skill, one that many of us, in our busy 21st-century lives, have forgotten. We half-listen, often preparing a witty reply as we do so, and allow our attention to wander. At work, we carry on telephone conversations while tapping on keyboards or continuing with other tasks. We also filter what we are hearing through our own experiences. How often do we jump in with "I know exactly what you mean" and then turn conversations around to ourselves before the other person has really finished what they wanted to say? The other problem is that, even though we want to offer advice to friends or loved ones with problems, what we think they should do is not really appropriate for them. Life coaches are told never to give advice but to help individuals find their own solutions by giving them the time and space to think them through. The life coach then helps clients assess their ambitions with what are known as incisive questions. These cut through the obstacles that tend to hold people back: fear, procrastination, mental barriers, lack of clarity, lack of self-discipline.
A life coach will ask: "If you knew you had enough money to live on for the rest of your life, what would you do?" Viewed in this way, what people really want from their lives becomes clearer. If your answer is something like "emigrate", you really need to talk in detail with someone who is not a family member or loved one.
Life coaches are concerned with helping clients to crystallise their dreams into reality. They will stay the course and provide encouragement long after friends and family have got bored with talking about frustrated musical aspirations, new diets or marathon training.
There is no doubt that we could all do with this kind of individual attention. Perhaps the only sad thing is that nowadays we have to pay others to get it.
The Life Coaching Academy: 0044 23-9286 4323 or www.britishcoaching academy.com
Gerry O'Donovan is due to host training courses in Dublin in the New Year; details can be obtained from the academy. He is also available as an individual coach or corporate consultant through his firm Noble Manhattan at tel: 0044 8707-414265 (call charges vary) or website: www.noble-manhattan.com
