ADAM BROPHY, who has been a stay-at-home dad for the past seven years, offers his top 10 tips to survive and thrive

1. New baby in the house

Once home for good you have no excuse not to perform duties you may previously have bodyswerved: nappy-changing, night feeds, bottle washing. Do everything as if each task makes you a better and happier man. Soon, the fact that you aren’t crumbling under the weight of kiddie chores will cause resentment and you may have your duties relieved.

2. Sleep

Even these days some men get away with claiming their sleep is sacrosanct as they have to go to the office in the morning.

That excuse is, obviously, gone. There is no hiding from sleep deprivation, no way round the torture a new baby in particular can enforce. Simple. Learn to live on three hours a night.

3. Hanging a baby wash

Each one contains over 7,000 small garments and hanging them on rads and clothes horses is a Jenga/Rubik’s cube task. But you figure the solution quickly and develop the dexterity of a Parisian pickpocket. Do not give up your secret as this can buy you valuable alone time under the pretext of performing family tasks. Alone time equals gold.

4. Discipline

Office Dad has power through rarity – the “Wait till your dad gets home” syndrome. That is gone, and this is no bad thing. They will no longer fear your occasional wrath because over-exposure will quickly make them aware of your weaknesses and blind spots. Embrace your new libertarian ego, you can now be the parent they like.

5. First birthday party.

Acknowledge that it has nothing to do with the child in question and throw yourself a stomping shindig. You deserve it, the country deserves it, after the year we’ve had.

6. Tantrums

Wow. You realise these happen all the time. Come out from under the stairs and witness the process: the warm-up, the combustion, the frenzy, the fatigue. Learn to recognise when to enter silently during the wind-down and become the “hero” parent.

7. Sex

Fragile ego from career alteration combined with kiddie demands do not a lothario make. If you look at your missus carefully you may notice she’s not finding the process a honeymoon in Saint Tropez either. For the sake of continued familial harmony you need to dust down the old fumbling skills, rely on muscle memory, and make with the good loving.

8. Health

The mother hen’s domain. You will not be thanked for questioning her techniques . . . crazed though they may seem.

9. School life

You now have the “space” to join the PTA. Have fun with it, stir things up, send all the old office venom straight into the next administrative circle you join. Better there than at home.

10. Retaining your cool

Don’t slump, stand up straight, have a shave, go for a run, buy/borrow some new clothes. Realise you’re a better and luckier man for having more time with your brats.