In a Word... Golf

Two months later and I’m still not the better of it. There, in an Irish Times editorial last June, hiding among the paragraphs with seeming guerrilla intent, was the courageous if utterly unexpected “…golf has always been seen as a selfish sport”.

I was reminded of Lady Macbeth and her comment on the murder of King Duncan at her place: “What, in our house?” To which Banquo responded, pertinently, “…too cruel anywhere”.

Some might feel similarly about such a line in The Irish Times. Oh, treachery! Indeed, dear reader, I should inform you – in the spirit of openness and transparency – that many of my colleagues at this newspaper are not just passionate about golf, they are obsessed by it.

It makes me suspect the possibly treasonous line crept unseen into that editorial about the LIV Golf series, a start-up tour backed by Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund and identified as a shameful exercise in sportwashing where that country’s discredited human rights record is concerned.

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However, my father would have agreed with its description of the game. He hated golf. In his day it was not so much a sport as a demonstration of social superiority denied the sans culottes (without breeches) at the club door, successfully kept at bay by exorbitant fees.

Yes, in his day, golf was played only by the local petty bourgeoise, some of whom also “took” The Irish Times as further illustration of a desired social standing. That my uncle, on my mother’s side, ascended to a senior position in the Golfing Union of Ireland simply confirmed my father’s poor opinion of his in-laws, something he generously extended to include most of his blood-relatives.

Golf was for “big shots” and, worse, those who aspired to be big shots. He did not like big shots but he despised would-be big shots, most of whom would also be seen to take The Irish Times, for appearance sake.

How they must all have revolved in their musty graves last June on reading in these august pages of golf as “a selfish sport”. Their upset is possibly equalled by colleagues at the paper and those readers whose lives are measured out by greens, swings and putts and Rory and Shane.

How the Times has changed – for the better.

Golf, from Middle Dutch colf, colve, for “stick”, “club”.

inaword@irishtimes.com