Just why did the chicken cross the road? Hypotheses on this age-old question are legion but documentation recently found in a skip outside the offices of Hans Andersen Management Consultants (HAM) may provide the definitive answer, hopefully bringing to an end the welter of ill-informed conjecture.

A copy of the case history has come into the possession of this column. It shows that the chicken was a client faced with a classic management dilemma. The papers reveal that deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position, creating significant challenges to develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. The chicken, in a partnership relationship with HAM, was helped change to become more successful.

Using the Poultry Integration Method (PIM), the chicken was shown how to rethink its physical distribution strategy, aligning the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a programme management framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. In a footnote to the report, HAM reports that its one-time client ultimately ran out of tarmac, falling foul of an ill-advised joint venture operation with a certain Colonel Saunders. So now you know.